...

ei... im really glad that this blog has been created... i probably dont deserve to post anythin here coz di na ako blok it... but i still wana be a part of our blok... well... from what i understand this blog is dedicated to all our love stories... but i think that my whole love life is too much to be told in one sitting... so im gona separate it in different posts... well... to start with... i gez i shud introduce myself... i consider my greatest achievement in life is having been able to make someone i love to love me back... i believe that it is more important than bein a valedectorian or bein the most popular kid... i have had a couple of serious relationships... and when i say serious it means we talk about gettin married and stuff... but i also have countless flings and crushes... i am a flirt by nature... when i enter a room the first thing i do is to check for cute girls... thats what keeps me from gettin bored in any situation... i had my first crush when i was in kindergarten... i can still remember her name and adress up until now... thats how i love someone... i pour everythin into it... i dont know if its the ryt thing to do but what the hell... heart over mind is how i run my life... and its been pretty rough... well... til next tym... peace out homies... god bless and yall take care...

Day 1

Grabe talaga tong araw. Ang daming kakaibang nangyari! Natakot talaga ako dahil sa mga pangyayaring nakakamatay. 2 am ako gumising kasi kailangan ko na pumunta sa airport. 5 am kasi ung flight ko. mga 3:45 kami nagkita ni Butch sa departure area sa NAIA 2. Handang handa na kami pumunta sa davao para magadventure. so nabigay ko na gamit ko sa bagage terminal. Tapos inintay ko naman si Butch kasi chance flight siya. May chance na hindi niya ako makasama sa flight ko. So ayun nga, sinamahan ko siya sa pila niya. Tapos badtrip talaga! puno na ung plane. hindi siya nakasakay! tapos after a few minutes, tinawag pangalan ko sa airport. LAST CALL na raw ako! ako nalang ata ung wala sa plane. So tumakbo ako! kakahiya talaga! nakaupo na ang mga tao sa plane. Dun pa ako sa may likod umupo. Haba pa naman ng plane ng PAL. haayy! Nung nasa plane na ako, natulog lang ako. Nagising para kumain tapos natulog ulit. Nagising ulit ako nung nagland ung plane.

Pagbaba ko ng plane, hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko. Magisa lang ako sa mindanao. Pinapaligiran ako ng bundok at mag puno. wala pa akong kilala kasi wala pa si Drew. So tumambay lang ako sa isang restau. kinaibigan ko na ung owner at ung mga tao. Ang babait talaga ng mga tao sa davao. Nakakapanibago! Tapos ayun. Hindi pa nakasakay si Drew sa next flight. Maskinabahan ako!!!! 2 flight nalang tapos wala na!!!! hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko kapag hindi nakasakay si Drew! wala na akong matitirahan kung ganun! kinakabahan talaga ako! tapos nung malapit na ung 3rd flight papuntang davao... hindi nanaman siya nakasakay! 1 pm na! wala parin! ilang oras na ako nagiintay. Kung sino sino na kinakaibigan ko dito. Tapos nakatulog din ako kahit papaano. Pero nahirapan ako dahil kinakabahan talaga ako! Buti ang bait ng owner ng restaurant at pinaintay nalang ako sa loob. Tapos ayun, 4 pm na... nagtext si Drew.. sabi niya "celebrate!!! nakasakay ako!". Sobrang narelieve ako! grabe talaga un! buti nakasakay pa siya sa last flight!!! kung hindi... Naiwan na ako sa davao! wala pa naman akong alam sa davao! pero grabe parin! 11 hrs ako nagintay!! test of patience talaga un!

Ayun... so sinundo na kami ng dad niya at pumunta sa js gaisano mall. May napansin ako sa davao.. ANG GAGANDA NG MGA BABAE!!! walang sinabai mga babae sa manila! seryoso 'to! wala lang.. hahaha! tapos kumain kami.. naka 1/2 chicken ako! wahh! wala lang... tapos after nun.. pumunta kami sa MTS, ung parang Eastwood ng davao. Dun kami sa cafe na Blugre ang pangalan. Tapos inintay namin si Edge. Dun kami nagkita. Tapos sumabay kami sa kanya papunta sa bahay niya. Dun kami sa likod ng pickup niya. Ang bilis at ang lakas ng hangin! nakakamatay! hahahaha! ayun.. nang makarating kami sa bahay ni edge.. woahh! mansion!!! gawa sa glass karamihan ng gamit! pati sink sa cr. glass lahat hanggang gripo! hahahaha! kakaiba talaga buhay ni Edge dito. Kuwentuhan kami about some stuff. Siyempre hindi mawawala ang topic about sa lovelife. hahahaha! wala lang.. Tapos dinala kami sa taas ng area nila. Nakita namin ang buong davao kapag gabi. Grabe! walang masabi Manila! hahahaha! Ayun.. so after nun. hinatid na kami ni Edge sa bahay ng dad ni Drew. Dun kami natulog. Pagod na pagod talaga kami! hahaha!

To be continued...
(9 days to go!)

Frustration and Insanity

WAAAHHH!!! ewan ko na talaga!!! Alam ko naman hindi na pwede talaga pero ano ngyari??? ganito pa rin! nagwawala puso ko sayo...lobot talaga!!! lobot!!! Pinipilit ko sarili ko na "LET IT GO" pero pag nakikita ko ang mga pictures mo online bumabalik..bumabalik lahat!!! ANU BA KASI!!!! hindi naman pwede sisihin ikaw kasi wala ka naman ginawa!!!! lobot talaga!!!

siguro kelangan ko pa ng oras...matagal pa talaga ata eto mawawala talaga...lobot...kelangan ko talga mawala tong feelings ko sayo para maging ayos na lahat... Ayoko ko din na malalayo ako sayo dahil dito...sana talaga maayos ko na toh..

sa mga tao naghahanap pa...(pati na din ako hahaha =P)

Where Are You-Ft J. Roman
by Soluna

[J. Roman]
there's someone out there for me,
I know she's waiting so patiently,
can you tell me her name?
this life long search is gonna drive me insane
How does she laugh how does she cry,
what's the color of her eyes,
does she even realize, I'm here
where is she, where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,
where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,

la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[Soluna]
I'm staring out at the sky,
praying that he will walk in my life,
where is the man of my dreams? yeah yea
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems,
how does he laugh how does he cry,
what's the color of his eyes,
does he even realize, I'm here
where is he, where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high,
where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high

[J.Roman [Soluna]]
there's someone out there for me[there's someone out there for me],
I know she's waiting so patiently[so patient],
can you tell me her name[can you tell me his name],
this life long search is gonna drive me insane,

[Soluna]
how does he laugh, how does he cry,
what's the color of his eyes,
does he even realize, I'm here

[J. Roman]
where is she, where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,

[Soluna]
where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high,

[Together]
la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[J.Roman: I kno you're out there]
la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[J. Roman: where are you, I've been lookin all over the world baby,
cuz I know you're out there, and I know it might sound crazy,
but i think I love you..]

la da da da da da da

Weird Series of Events (Part 1)

At the first day we met, I didn't like you at all. Hindi ko talaga makakalimutan ung araw na yun. Nanood pa nga tayo ng movie nun e. Bat ba tayo nanood? ahh.. may group outing kasi. Pero onti lang tayong pumunta. At first time pa kita makita noon. Hindi talaga ako komportable nung nakasama kita. Ang tahimik mo nun grabe. Kala hindi ko alam kung pano kita kakausapin. But still.. I tried to talk to you. Ang tipid mo magsalita. Nagmukha tuloy akong sira sa harap mo. Wala lang. So nung natapos na ung movie, kumain tayo. Ang tahimik mo parin! Bat ka ba ganun! Nagkataon na naiwan nalang tayong dalawa.. so naglibot nalang tayo. Sa wakas! Kinausap mo na ako ng matino. Nashock talaga ako nang kausapin mo ako. Pero kung ano ano nalang ung mga tinanong mo. Mga walang kuwentang tanong para sa akin. Tinatanong mo kung bat ganito ako manamit etc... Parang ang laki ng problema niya sa itsura ko. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong klaseng tao ka.. pero ayun.. After mga 1 hr, umuwi narin tayo.

Nang makauwi na ako, natulog nalang ako. Dahil pagod siguro sa kasasalita at kalalakad. Paggising ko, gabi na pala. Pagtingin ko sa pc ko, nagmessage ka pala sa akin. Bakit ganun... ang labo.. soooobrang daldal mo kapag kachat ko kita. Parang dun mo lang sinabi lahat ng naramdaman mo noong kasama kita siya. Tapos habang tumatagal, nagiging madalas na ang ating pagchat. Nagusap din tayo sa phone once. Ang ganda pala ng boses mo sa phone. Feel ko ibang tayo ang nakausap ko. So parang nagiba na ung tingin ko sa iyo dahil sa mga pangyayaring iyon.

Isang araw, lumapit ka sa akin at kinausap mo ako. May tinanong ka sa akin about something. Pero hindi ko na matandaan kung ano un. Pero nakita tayo ng friends ko. Kala nila may gusto ako sayo or the other way around. Ang labo noh. Parang un lang, ganun na agad ung iisipin nila. So siyempre sabi ko na wala un. May tinanong ka lang sa akin about sa isang bagay na hindi importante. So after nang pangyayaring iyon, medyo iniiwasan na kita lalo na kapag kasama ko friends ko. Baka asarin lang ako tapos madamay ka pa. So kungwari nalang hindi kita kilala.

After a few months, tinext niya ako. You told me na huwag akong maniwala sa mga friends mo kapag may sinabi sila sa akin about you. Naramdaman ko na sobrang laki ng problema mo. Pero buti inexplain mo sa akin lahat. You said that one of your friends teased you. Then you said something like.. "tama na Butch!". Instead of shouting your friend's name, you shouted mine. The more they teased you because of that. So wala nanaman akong masabi. Masnaweirdohan ako sa iyo. But in a way.. naawa rin ako sa iyo. Maybe because a lot of people loved to play with you. I don't really know.

As the months passed by.. we still texted each other and chatted. Nanood ulit tayo ng movie. I noticed that I got closer and closer to you. Tuwing may problema ka, lumalalapit ka sa akin. You always share everthing to me even though I don't ask about your problems. This made me know more about you. I couldn't believe that you were a very sensitive person. Para sa akin, wala sa itsura mo ang pagiging sensitive. You also make small problems into big ones. You are also often paranoid when somehting happens that I myself consider useless. I wanted to stop getting closer and closer to you but it seemed that I can't. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung ano yung nararamdaman ko. Ito na ba ang love? Ewan... Bakit ang weird ng love kung love talaga yun...

to be continued...

Stupid me :p hay nako :) love talaga tsk tsk

My first love, i never felt this way before..... college a new atmosphere for me.... meeting new people with different personalities... i saw this girl in my class and i felt like love at first sight.. but i never did anything to get us closer.. like talking to her.... an opportunity came and we talked and got to know each other... courtesy of my friend from davao and from ayala heights... as time past by we got to know each other more and more... my classmates are teasing me why are we always together... they also asked me what i felt for her and i said the truth.. that i liked her......... one saturday morning, I joined her in her vehicle alone to have a ride back to school.... and i kept asking myself what should i say??... what should i say??... eventually i didnt have the guts to say it..... when i reached the school... i went to meet my friends in starbucks.. and they asked me what did i tell her??.... i said nothing just a plain conversation between two friends.... then my chubby friend who works in robinsons called her in her cellphone and kept saying stuffs like ... he loves you etc.......... then i said can i have the cellphone... i got it and talked to her outside alone... she asked me if i was just going along with what my friends saying and i said "No, what they are saying is true and its not because of them but because of what i feel, that's the way i feel"......"I want to be closer with you like being a best friend............." "etc......." after that conversation everything was cleared.... nothing changed we still got to know better and better.. we got along ..... etc...... i didnt make a move in dating her because i know she had a past experience in her former relationship... she said that she didnt want to have any relationship for the meantime... so i didnt do anything... i was just there for her as a friend..... one wednesday morning a competition was held that was hosted by our org.... i was suppose to be a marshall of one of the teams but instead i was just ordered to roam around and see if there is any problem in the competition... she was a marshall in one of the team................. as the day past by, i encountered here and she asked me something and my response was somehow angry ... i remember that i am really in a bad mood that day because of some problems in the family.... i kept thinking of those problems which make me sad somehow and lose my mood....parent problems :(....... she was shocked on the way i reacted and she went to my chubby friend to tell to him what i did and my chubby friend said to her that I was just in a bad mood.... etc........ i then afterwards tell her that i was sorry for the way i reacted..... and she said Ok....... i felt that she never accepted my sorry fully.... i think that she still brings something about the way i reacted....... huhuhuuhuhu.............. from that day on she was never the same again when i talk to her..... every day that past by she changed n changed and i never felt the way she talked to me like before.... that is what i felt...... i decided to just leave her alone.... its hard for me because i have feelings for her.... it will just be worse and worse if i dont stop..... and i did stop.... i didn't join her anymore starting the new semester and all the way up to finishing the sem....... i didnt talk to her anymore....... all in a sudden everything changed..... my classmates ask me are you still ok with her...... and i just said yeah were just okay..... etc..... time past by blah blah...... eventually her special day arrived.... we were all invited to come..... this and that happened like any ordinary special day for an 18 year old girl....... after wards me, my chubby friend, my friend from davao and my friend who is always online decided that we will go to katipunan to play computer and eat and other things..... eventually when we were finished playing we decided to eat breakfast since it was already 5 in the morning... we talked and talked.... and eventually came to the topic about me and her.... they were like my conscience saying this and that to me and my mind and heart didnt know what to do..... they would say "sayang, sayang talaga"... and mind keeps thinking on what to do.........ahhhhhhhhhhh........... then when its time to go home... i walked slowly thinking what would i do.... and i said to myself that i would speak to her about what happen.. i then find that she was online and i talked to her... i said sorry for what had happen before and our friendship has really changed..... she said that it was not a big deal to her anymore and nothing has changed to our friendship... i said to myself "wow".... then she disconnected...... i then just continued my life again normally with still some feelings in me..... as time past by..... blah blah blah............. i told my friend who is always online and my friend who lives in cotabato and some of my classmates to do something for me.... i told them to invite her to have lunch with us and i will say what i feel to her..... when lunch came... sharing of some of my classmates... and when it was my turn to share... i was nervous not because of what i will say but what will be her reaction..... i said to her that i really liked her and if given a chance to proved myself, i would do my best ............................... then I turned RED wahhh....... i waited for her response...... then after a short time... she told me and everyone her reply........... it was not the reaction i expected because i expected a y or n.............. after that happened i didnt do anything anymore up to know..... i think whats important is that i have said what i feel about her... that i like her from my heart.... right know i still have feelings for her but I set it aside inside my heart..... so maybe it would fade away or something..... but still its hard to let it fade.... i would be happy if i would be given the chance...... now im okay just being myself again, just the normal life like before hoping for something to happen.......... THE END................ Post COmments .........

My Confession...

Right now... I'm so in love... deeply in love with this Man..

This song explains best how much i feel for Him... ;)

If ever you wondered if You touched my soul, yes You do.
Since I met you I'm not the same. 
You bring life to everything I do.
Just the way You say hello. With one touch I can't let go.
Never thought I'd fallen in love with You.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.

Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of You. You
captured something inside of me. 
You make all of my dreams come true. 
It's not enough that You love me for me.
 You reached inside and touched me internally. 
I love You best explains how I feel for You.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.


The magic in your eyes, true love I can't deny.
 When you hold me I just lose control.
I want You to know that
I'm never letting go. 
You mean so much to me,
I want the world to see it's because of you.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.

walang napopost edi eto na lng muna hahaha :P

One In Me
Akafellas

(verse 1)
I just can't stop the pain
There you beside me it so far away
I'm holdin on to these lies
Believin that one day you'll be my bride

(prechorus 1)
It's like wishing on a star that I know will never be mine
I cry and crack whenever that star is there to shine
So now I tell my heart before I lose my mind
That I don't have you baby...

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and will forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms,
Hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.

(verse 2)
How I wish that you know (what I keep inside)
even just a bit of me that I can show,
cuz I'm dreammin' of you every night,
Hoping that someday you'll be by my side.

(prechorus 2)
Now its killing me, these fantasies bin blowing up my head,
and I just wanna wake up,
but sure I'll fall back there again,
So I might as well believe
that your the only one for me...

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and will forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.

(bridge)
I just can't get you out of my head,
I feel the hurt all over again,
Cuz I know you won't be mine,
But if we got this time, /-not sure tong line/
Your the only one for me...

(*may kulang isang line)

Will you ever see the love in me
ahhh~~~

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms,
Hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.
(2x)

Find the one in me...(3x)

YEAH!

BADTRIP NA BADTRIP AKO!
Bakit ba ganito! tuwing magkasama tayo..
hindi mo ako inaaway...
pero tuwing hindi tayo magkasama...
parating may masamang nangyayari...
Bakit ba ganoon?
Hindi talaga ako para sayo!
GRABE TALAGA!
Nasayang lang talaga oras ko sa 'yo!
wahh! pero ngayon.... wala na! masaya na ako sa buhay ko! wahahahaha!
sa ngayon.. FREE ako!
halos wala na akong mga problema!
kontento na talaga ako sa buhay ko! hahahahahahaha! yeah!
(wala lang akong malagay. wala kasing nagpopost. hahahaha)

Kilig Level 1

hahaha

Butch is here again.. for another post..

i must admit that i've been somewhat lonely this past few days but there are reasons why i'm not sucked up by the negative feeling of being lonely anymore... oh yeah...

Here we go...

My crushes (take note.. not crush but crushES hahaha) when i was in high school just made some sort of "paramdam" to me.. (giggles.. giggles... hahaha..naalala ko tuloy si LOBUTCH.. i got the term "giggle" from him hahaha)

The first one made me smile(well actually... giggle hahahaha) by sending a message through friendster... the message's subject is "BBBUUUTTTCCCCHHHHHH" which is actually my surname... the content of the message?.. haha.. its good enough to make me giggle.. hahaha


The second one made me "giggle" when i was on my way home from the church... hahaha.. I was walking a little faster than the usual and suddenly out of nowhere I heard a girl shouting my name .. she says "BBBUUUUTTTTCCCCHH!".. Then it made me stop and step back then poof! I saw her, my other crush when i was in HS.. I waved and said hi to her.. i didn't have the courage to talk to her because i can't hide my giggling anymore..hahaha and besides she was with her sister or cousins i guess. so after that few seconds of saying hi and staring at her, i went home walking at a faster rate, trying to control my "giggling" and never-ending smile... woohooo..what a "day brightener".. hahaha..

with these.. i start to ask myself... is it a sign?haahaha is one of them the woman of my life? oh well.. i dont know.. maybe not.. but I trust God.. He knows the best..;)

My Broken Heart

*Based on a real story

I don't know when this happened. It may have beenin in another life time or in a dream. Well here's my story. It was a new school year in a different school. I transferred into another school because of some stuff. When I first came there, I was confident and friendly but inside, I was freakin' nervous. I wasn't the only new student. There was also a new girl in the class. *For private reasons I'll change her name to MEI. She had long dark brown hair and was kinda cute. She was very quiet at times and always thought about something. We got to know each other and became friends.

When the second semester came, we became more close. Online, we would tell all our secrets to each other like mga dating BF/GF, mga ginagawa namin ngayon sa bahay. We laugh at the things we talk about. Walang secret secret sa amin, labasan lahat hahaha. Soon I came to realize that I was falling for her. One night, we had a chat online. She told me that may lalaki nanliligaw sa kanya and that parang gusto na niya ung guy. Suddenly my heart became kind of heavy. Like something felt painful ('di ko pa inaccept na I liked her) so I just said what any other friend would say. I supported her. "Sige, hope siya na ung guy para sayo hehehe" something like that. I wanted to tell her na, but I was scared telling her because she liked someone else. So I ask my friends na kung aminin ko na sa kanya. Sabi ng mga iba, sige! go for it! While you mga iba nagsabi wag na lang kasi she's not Christian etc etc... Hindi magandang relationship. So I followed them. I continued on to be a friend that was hiding something.

As summer came I didn't see her much. I went abroad and was away for a month. When I came back, I decided to tell her na the truth, tell her how much she means the world to me. I went online and waited for her. Everyday I waited for her but she never came online. But as the third day passed, she went online, We chatted and chated saying how much we missed each other and all that. But the joy of seeing each other online wouldn't last because she had some bad news. She told me that she was changing to another school next school year. My heart felt a bit pain, but it was ok. I told her, "ok lang yan, it's for your sake naman." Then she told me something else...

Sila na daw ng guy na nagliligaw sa kanya. I was shocked, my heart was in total pain. It felt like a thousand spears were stabbed at my heart. I told her ,, "great and congratulations". After that I decided to go and disconnect. I lied on bed, and thought what just happened. Suddenly tears came out of my eyes. I couldn't stop them from running down my face. I was in deep depression. My hope was burned and I was left in total darkness It was too late for me to tell her I loved her. Now I'm here, healing my wounds and regretting that I couldn't tell her...regretting all the time that I've wasted...


To all who are reading this, I hope that some of you will not make the same mistake as I did. Don't be scared about telling your true feelings to the person your falling in love with. You'll never know that she might be the one for you...

IS THIS LOVE?

It was my first day in school. Marami akong nakitang new faces. So far, masaya naman dahil I was able to meet new friends. Then I saw this mysterious girl. Wala na akong maisip na salita that can describe her pero "mysterious" lang talaga ang unang impression ko sa kanya. Pinagmamasdan ko ang bawat kilos niya whenever wala akong magawa. Then I realized, naiinlove na pala ako sa kanya! Ang weird talaga ng naramdaman ko whenever I see her in school. My heart was beating so fast that I coudn't breathe everytime I see her. I haven't felt this way before. Para bang i'm in heaven whenever she is close to me. But the thing is.... hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ako inlove sa kanya. Ang weird talaga! I can't think of a valid reason why patay na patay ako sa kanya. WHY?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?! Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit pero ang weird talaga kasi i love her pero wala namang reason. Can this really be?? WHY OH WHY! Dahil ba sobrang ganda niya? Hindi eh! Dahil ba matangkad siya? Hindi rin! Ang labo ko pare! I really don't know if i will tell her what I feel or kung itatago ko nalang ito sa self ko. Ang labo kasi! What if she asks why i love her? Tapos wala akong masasagot! Ang pangit talaga right? My question is... Is this really LOVE? What is LOVE? How do I really know when i'm in love? HOW? As of today... i'm still thinking of what will I do. I really have no idea kung ano yung nangyayari sa akin! So please.. I really need a sign! I don't know if I will tell her na or not. There are times when I wished na sana hindi ko nalang siya nakita. Sana never ko siya nakilala...