IT Love Life

crush

2009-02-06T03:08:00.000+08:00

Nakita ko nanaman sya. Ang sarap tlaga ng feeling.. lalo na kung nakakausap ko pa siya. Napapansin kaya niya na type ko siya? Wag naman sana at ako'y mahihiya talaga.. Ngunit napag-isip isip ko.. Mas mabuti din siguro na alam niya. Malay ko, ganun din siya.. (Asa pa ako!) haha

untitled

2009-01-20T03:03:00.000+08:00

I don’t deserve this
Never in my life have I felt so humiliated
Disrespected, unwanted - What else can I say?
Should've predicted this would happen

At one point, everything was all good
After quite a while, it just turned out otherwise
Strange things really happen - Why so?
And the cycle goes on

Before I try to shoot myself in the foot . . .

2008-10-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

I just wish I have the ability of Hiro Nakamura and see what's in it for me if I decided to jump over that friggin grey area of ethics. Ethics? haha i just don't know what word should I use. Anyway, it's really hard to know if options placed in grey areas are mistakes if we didn't even try to do it.

Maybe... mistakes are meant to be done, so in the future you could look at that "thing" as a mistake and learn from it. haha! *confused* But yeah.. If you didn't do it at all, you will not learn that it was a mistake.. and maybe.. you will just eventually do it later in your life.

The hell, cross that Hiro Nakamura thing. Maybe, if i will not allow myself to do something because I'm afraid that it will be wrong, the butterfly effect of not doing it will just alter the situation and maybe it'll just be worse than what it should have been. haha.

But hey, I'd love to see myself in the future, dealing with the thing I did, wrong or right, and eventually share it with my future children. haha. yeah! hahaha!

Or just by having this second thought, have I already shot myself in the foot? Ouch.

Snow

2008-10-22T09:00:00.000+08:00

It was a very normal day... And it was time for me to go someplace else. As I entered the plane, I was looking for a vacant seat since it was free seating. But I was not able to find a row where in all the seats were vacant. So the first thing I did was look for the row closest to me that only had one person seated. Fortunately, I was able to find one where in only one person is seated at the part beside the window. Then I sat at the other end of the row, leaving a seat between me and the person at beside the window. It did not want to sleep during the flight since it was just a one hour trip.

When the plane took off, the person sharing the same row with me turned out to be a very beautiful girl. Her skin was white and eyes were very brown in color. Then she looked at me and offered chewing gum. I was mesmerized by her looks that why I got the chewing gum she offered and said thanks. Then we just talked about the places where we came from and the places where we intend to go. Then later, she said… “look! It’s snowing!” so I looked out the window. It really was snowing! The glass had tiny bits of snowflakes. Then I said .. “it’s so beautiful..” Then we looked at each other and smiled… Even though I can’t see her face since she was looking out the window, I was partly looking at her. She really is beautiful! How I wish I had a girl who looked like this.

Then we were about to reach our destination. I just kept quiet and though about all the good things that has happened to me the whole week. And I added what just happened to that list.. When the plane landed, I was not able to talk to her since I was busy getting my things. But fortunately, I got a chance to see her in the place where our baggage should be claimed. Then she said “Nice knowing you even if it was just a short time”.. Then I also thanked her. This was the first and last time I saw her...

Torn

2008-10-22T02:33:00.000+08:00

There are life situations that require us to choose and for all cases, it is between what is right, and what is wrong. Choosing the right one is what everyone expects us to do. However, not choosing the wrong thing will not automatically imply choosing the right thing and for most cases, we still choose the wrong thing by not choosing the right thing.

Being right is the best and at the same time hardest choice. It means hitting it straight in the bull’s-eye, not near, not almost, but exactly in the middle, nothing more, nothing less.

Nonetheless, what if none of the options you have is right? How would you exactly know that by not choosing actually means doing the right thing?

Stairs..

2008-10-18T21:54:00.000+08:00

Me and my friend were walking up the stairs to our next class when all of a sudden "someone" passed between us. Then out of the blue I told my friend. "friend" ang ganda pala ni "someone" noh. I did not know why I uttered those words, all I can say is that I meant every word that I said back then until now.

Appear Offline

2008-10-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

You are the cream of the crop and I am not.

Everytime I see our picture on the window sill, I can't help but wonder, what happened to you all these years. Maybe you are busy pursuing your academic goals or busy finishing that paper off for your next class. It has been years since I last heard from you.

I don't know, but it delights me whenever a glass window pops out from the middle of nowhere with you asking how am I or what I have been doing unexpectedly. It made my day when you left a comment on that social networking profile when I didn't expect it especially on my birthday when I am thinking all the troubles I will have to face in life. I know you're busy working on your academic requirements, but it delighted me when we chatted for hours exchanging stories and insights with me making sure that every sentence that I entered is gramatically correct.

I feel sad that I have made my decision when we are about to cross paths, I didn't know, I am surprised when you told me. But anyways, I'll let you feel that I would do anything for you.

But wait, we are not that close then and we're worlds apart. You are the cream of the crop and I am not. Though I am looking forward to the day where I can ask you for dinner and take everything offline.

Attachment

2008-10-09T19:58:00.000+08:00

It’s a while since there was a last post here in IT LOVELIFE. I was just wondering what I as an ITLOVELIFE member can write here in our love showered website. Without further ado, I shall ask my readers to what they think.

Is it possible to have internal feelings for a special friend that you have known for quite a long span of time?

This friend is a friend that you have known and became acquainted to the extent that you are close with each other. This friend is also somewhat like a mentor, bestfriend and/or confidant to you.

In addition, you also try to limit yourself on just being friends for some reasons. One of which is to retain your friendship to one another but still you are feeling an attachment to this person.

Then finally, is liking a certain somebody easy in our lives? To the degree that you like a certain somebody because either you like the person or you just feel attached to that certain individual.

Philosophical Infatuation

2008-09-29T19:17:00.000+08:00

I am very confused. I don't know who I really like..

Anyway,

There’s this girl that I think I really like.. but I rarely see her.. it’s kinda lucky and kinda sad.. lucky because if I don’t see her maybe my feelings will go away.. sad because deep inside I wanna see her.. but I’m not gonna discuss her in this post..

Moving on..

I love philosophy subjects. I think I’m really good at it. I think I’m very good at it that I feel I could afford to sleep at those subjects.. I always get to sit and sleep at the back.. away from the prying eyes of professor ego.. hehe

There’s this girl classmate at professor ego’s class.. I’ll just call her for now as miss philo.. I know her because she was my former classmate at a Cas subject, I recognized her as pretty but at that time, my mind was focused on thinking about one other girl..

Now I notice her a lot.. The way she dresses is so cute J.. it’s like she’s putting a lot of effort on the way she dresses.. maybe she’s trying to please me? Haha.. Her smile is so beautiful.. a charm that never fails to cheer me up.. it’s so beautiful that it makes me want to go to professor ego’s class without fail..

She recently cut her hair shorter.. she’s so damn cute!

I always see her eating at the cafeteria.. everyday @ 12 noon.. I really don’t like deciding where to eat lunch.. but decision making just got damn easier.. as long as it is 12noon, forget about mcdo, venue or any place there is.. caf is the place for me J

So..

Miss philo suddenly took number one spot on the girls I have a crush on the UAP.. a well deserved honor for her.. hehe

I really hope fate would be so kind to me.. so kind that we would be able to know each other.. When that happens it’s really up to me.. The real challenge starts..

How do I get her alone..

Alone so that she would only see me.. no nuiscances.. no irritating people who would just mess things up.. it would just be me and her.. me making a move.. and she would be startled at the sudden confession.. then she would appreciate my gesture.. haha.. wind blows.. silence takes over.. after what it seems to be hours of endless waiting.. we hug.. oh! and may i add, she says she love me too.. then.. we kiss.. imagination overdrive.. haha..

Well.. I only need to be friends with her and get her alone.. damn it.. seems impossible..

Oh well.. I’m just probably infatuated.. haha ewan

Stultified

2008-09-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

Whenever you ratiocinates, i like it. Even if it's infuriating.

Whenever I dare to overthrow your lucid power, i enjoy it. Even if i feel hopeless.

I have more things to say and for a moment you almost slipped my mind. Even if i know you don't want me to.

But because of your one absurd conclusion, you made me ran away. Maybe you want it to be this way. Even if you know i'll hate you for that.

Venting out

2008-09-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

I just can’t say to love, “stay”. The more someone’s worth the blame, the harder it is to stay.

Now, it is easier to describe what it doesn’t mean than actually defining what love really is. I just don’t want to care anymore if I’m in love or if love is giving it’s farewell. Both is hurting me anyway.

A side of me is still hoping the other is giving up. I just know that it’s not over yet, and in God’s will, i don’t want it to be over. But if this will end for good, i know my heart will never be the same.

Perpetual Complex

2008-09-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

To act as if you are the ideal one
Not showing your weakness
Having perfect confidence
Being liked and to be liked

All seems impossible..

Even though there are some hard egos out there who will deny such and say these are easy but a person doesn't have the balls to do so unless your too proud of yourself. If you know what I mean...

Seeing your crush passing by seems like your seven oceans apart.
In times that an unrequited admiration meets eye to eye
Whenever a cat caught your tongue or you see an imaginary bee flying in front of you just to avoid eye contact when talking with your crush
The momentarily hang time when having a moment alone with your crush

Sad or pathetic as it may sound but we cant deny, can we?

Whenever these moment of truth lands on top of our palms. We do not know what we should or what we can do because everything seems so limited. Is the reason being one is that you dont know what may happen next? or is this really what you want for yourself?

It's more like a deal or no deal occasion, if its either you'll win the grand price or you'll win a great hell of pain.

Yes, because of these hardship with pain and agony in your arsenal rather than having confidence. We will tend to look so silly infront of our crushes and end up as stand up comedians rather than an ideal person to be.

And alas, "good shot opportunity" is wasted.

Who knows if there may be another chance?

Lihim kong pagtingin

2008-09-19T21:49:00.001+08:00

Alam nyo ba na may lihim akong pagtingin sa aking kaibigan. Noong una wala talaga bglang isang semester mayroon akong napansin sakanya, parang may nagbago sa kanya. Simula noon ay nasasabik na akong makita siya lalo na kapag nakikita ko siyang masaya. Lately I have been hanging out with her quite often. Lalong lumalakas ang feeling. Kaya ngayon, sa tuwing siya ay magyayayang maglaro o kumain sa umpisa di ako papahalata na gusto ko pero sa huli sasama din ako.

Mayroon siyang mga taong madalas makasama, for me they are very LUCKY. Di ko masabi talaga sakanya kung ano ang aking nararamdaman. Sana mapansin din nya ang aking lihim na pagtingin.

Tinanong ako ng aking isang barkada kung napapanaginipan ko ba siya, Hindi ko siya masagot sagot ng maayos pero nun isang gabi napanaginipan ko ang isang okasyon related sa kanya.

Lihim kong pagtingin

2008-09-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

Mayroon siyang mga taong madalas makasama, for me they are very LUCKY. Di ko masabi talaga sakanya kung ano ang aking nararamdaman. Sana mapansin din nya ang aking lihim na pagtingin.

Tinanong ako ng aking isang barkada kung napapanaginipan ko ba siya, Hindi ko siya masagot sagot ng maayos pero nun isang gabi napanaginipan ko ang isang okasyon related sa kanya.

Swimming Pool

2008-09-15T19:32:00.000+08:00

It was a normal sunny day. A good day to swim at the pool..

So I invited my friend to accompany me and swim. So we both prepared and meet at the pool. So lumangoy lang kami at nagrelax.. Then may nakita akong isang anghel na nagsswim din.. She was white and had blonde hair.. I stared at her for a very long time. I did not realize na sobrang obvious ko na tumingin sa kanya.. But still nakatingin lang ako.. Sumusunod lang mata ko sa kanya.. When she goes to the other side, my body automatically follows where she is at.. I seemed to be like a floating compass that points to where she's at.

Then my friend approached me and teased me.. I did not care at all because she was the only i was thinking about.. This is the reason why i love swimming nowaday especially where i met her. Posibleng makita ko siya ulit.. And next time kong makita..

i'll approach her at once and talk to her..

Doon sa bowling alley..

2008-09-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

Martes ng hapon nang maiisipan ko at ng aking mga kaibigan na magcut at magbowling sa Megamall. Hindi ako nagdalawang isip na magcut sapagkat iyon lamang ang aking pinakaunang beses magcut sa subject na yun. At isa pa sabik na sabik akong magbowling sapagkat napakatagal na mula noong huli akong nakapagbowling.

Kaya kami na nga ay nagpunta sa Megamall at nagbowling. Dalawa lamang kami naglaro sapagkat ayaw maglaro ng iba naming kaibigan. Tuwang-tuwa ako at sa wakas pagtapos ng mahabang panahon ay nakapagbowling din akong muli. Akalain mo noong mga unang set ko nakaka 140+ points ako at ganadong-ganado sa pagbobowling halos lahat ay strike at kung hindi strike ay spair.

Katatapos ko lang tumira nun at kaming dalawa lng ng kaibigan ko ang naandun dahil kumain ang iba nang bigla akong napalingon sa kaliwang linya. Akalain mo ba naman andun ang aking crush sa iskul.. Pangalawang beses ko siyang nakita noon ng araw na un. Noong una ay kumain kami sa Marina at biruin mo andun din siya.. Ang cute-cute nya talaga. Lalo nung makita ko kung pano siya magbowling ang cute talaga sobra! Tuwang tuwa ako kapag nakikita ko reaction nya pagkataops nyang tumira. Pagdating ng aking mga kaibigan ay kinuwento ko sknla at bigla akong pinagaasar. Pagtapos nun hindi na ako makapagbowling ng maaus nakuha ko lamang na score ay 70.. Sobrang nagiba ang aking pakiramdam ng malaman kong nandun din siya at nagbobowling. Hindi talaga ako makafocus lalo kapag nagkakasabay kami ng turn sa pagbowling..

Tuwang tuwa ako noong araw na iyon. Para sa akin, sa pagbobowling ko nakikita ang personality ng babae. At sa aking nakita tuwang-tuwa ako. SOBRANG CUTE NYA TALAGA LALO PAG NAGBOBOWLING.. Sana sa susunod na ako ay magbobowling makita ko syang muli doon kahit na wala akong mapatumbang pins basta alam kong nasa kabilang linya lang siya masaya na ko.. ^^

Tingin..

2008-09-13T05:36:00.000+08:00

Hay. Ewan ko ba. Gustong gusto ko siyang makita, pero ang nakakapagtaka, kapag naaabot tanaw siya ng aking mata hindi ko naman siya matignan. Tapos kapag wala siya at di ko siya makita hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Sa madaling salita hindi ako makatingin sakanya ng diretso. Mayroon lamang na ilang mga pagkakataon na ako ay nakakatingin sa kanya at madalas ay dahil kausap ko siya. Dun lang ako nakakahanap ng pagkakataong tignan siya. Pag di ko siya kausap talagang iwas tingin lang talaga ako. Bakit kaya ganun? Siguro dahil nahihiya ako na makita nyang nakatingin sakanya. Baka kasi magmukha lang akong ewan. Hay. Bakit di ko siya matignan? Sana dumating ang araw na makakatingin na ako sakanya ng diretso ng walang inaalala..

Crossover

2008-09-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

I am very confused. I don't know who I really like..

Anyway,

Nagenroll ako sa gym ako to pass time. Wala kasi magawa sa uap, ang boring. So nagenroll ako with some classmates. Then nagstart na ako. Napaisip ako, what the hell ang boring naman ang tahimik. Then inintroduce ako sa trainer ko. Muntik na kong napatawa kasi hindi ko inexpect na babae magiging trainer ko. Oops sorry, more like tiboyish pala with the sweater and jogging pants. Parang boxer ang get-up nya.

Nung first few days ko sa gym, lage nya akong ginaguide. Always with the casual conversations, Always with the jokes, always with the laugh, always with the smile. I kinda like talking with her, kesa naman para akong pipi sa gym. Then after few days bigla nalang ako naisipang asarin ng classmate ko sa trainer ko. Sabi ko grabe naman kayo trainer-trainee lang relationship namin

Then napaisip ako one night. Grabe! Ang dami nyang tanong sakin nung first few days. Then nabigla ako sa naisip ko. Is she interested in me? Binawi ko din sinabi ko nalang sa sarili ko na wag ako magpadala sa mga biro ng classmates ko.

a week or two passed.. nkakatamad ng mggym.. nghihina ako.. then pag dumadaan xa.. pucha! ang lakas ko bigla.. ung 15 reps ng lat pulldown.. ilang segundo, tapos! sudden rush.. cguro natural lang xempre dhil madidisappoint ung trainer ko.. iyon ba talaga ang rason? ewan.. or may iba pa..

one time, ang aga kong nggym, wala pa ung isa kong classmate.. ginagawa ko ung exercise called cable "crossover" nakaspread ung arms ko isa sa left, isa sa right. Then dapat ipull down ko ung cable tapos magcross ung hands ko.. what the.. ang hirap! ndi ko maipull ung cable. parang mapupunit na ung arms ko. then tumakbo ung trainer ko she held both of my hands. i was saved.. ginuide nya ako through the rest of the exercise.. my body was suddenly brimming with unreasonable strength.. ang lapit ng katawan nya sa akin.. as in ang lapit tlga.. para nya akong niyayakap from behind..

my hands, her hands.. crossing over..
Cross over, a fitting name.

The Encounter

2008-09-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Di ako ang tipong lalaki na basta-basta nahuhulog ang puso sa isang babae, subalit, umiba ito nung nakita ko.. siya..

Kakatapos ko lang ng last class ko. Sumama muna ako sa mga kabarkada ko at nagkwentohan. After ilan oras, nagpaalam na ako sa kanila dahil mahihirapan ako magcommute kung maya pa ako alis. Papunta na ako sa front gate, pero inicip ko na sa likod na lang kasi baka mei chance na mei umaabang na taxi nun at mas hindi init dun. Pagdating ko dun, wala. So, nagbigay ako ng 10 mins na dumating ang taxi, kung indi, punta na ako sa harap. So nakaupo ako sa mei tapat ng pinto ng secretary sa mga theo prof/pari. Nakatunganga lang ako sa labas hoping to get a cab, pero nung lumiko ulo ko sa entrance, dyan ko nakita sya.

Lumabas sya entrance gate at naghintay sa labasan ang kanyang sakyan. Mistisa sya na mejo mahaba ang buhok. Nung nakita ko muka nya, wala ako masabi. Ang complexion ng muka sobrang kinis at lambot. Ang lips naman nya naka "nude" colored lipstick. At ang mata ay inonsente at cute. Di ko maintindihan, pero, for some reason, di ko matigil sa pagtitig ko sa kanya. *syempre di ako nagpahalata na nagtitining ako sa kanya!*

After ilan minutes, mei dumating na tao, *bodyguard siguro*, at sinundo sya at lumakad sila papunta parking. Napatayo ako at pumunta sa kung san sya nakatayo kanina at sumilip sa kanya before wala na sya sa sight ko. Tumaas beat ng puso sa ko sa pagtitig ko sa kanya.

Ngaun, nakikita ko pa rin sya minsan sa school at palagi pagnag cross paths kami, nanenervous ako at hindi makatigil but to look back and catch a glimpse of her..

Langit..

2008-09-06T10:14:00.000+08:00

Hay bakit ganun? Sa tuwing dumarating sya nagiiba ang aking pakiramdam. Sa tuwing magkakasalubong ang aming mga tingin ang puso ko tila gustong lumabas. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Ang alam ko lang ay na talagang gandang-ganda ako sa kanya.

Apat na taon ko nang gusto sabihin sakanya ito, pero hindi ko pa din magawa-gawa. Maitatanong nyo kung bakit ko gustong sabihin sakanya, ang sagot ko ay sa tingin ko na kailangan kong gawin para mailabas ko na itong aking saloobin. Mahirap kasi kapag hindi mo naeexpress ang iyong mga saloobin. Soooobrang hirap yun lang masasabi ko, mayroon kasing feeling of regret sa huli.

Hindi ko naman sinasabing iniibig ko siya dahil hindi pa talaga. Mayroon lng talaga siyang mga katangian na gustong-gusto ko.

Alam ko na alam niya, at alam ko din na nalaman nya ito nang hindi galing sa akin. Isang sentence lng ang aking sasabihin hindi ko pa masabi.Matatapos na ang ika-apat na taon, mukhang hindi ko na talaga masasabi ang nais kong masabi sakanya. Na sa aking mga mata.. Siya ay langit..

Paano na?

2008-09-06T06:58:00.000+08:00

Yup... Ok na ^_^ Alam na niya ^__^ Bahala na. Grabe, sobrang kinakabahan ako kanina. Pagkatapos, nagchichills na ako habang sinusubukan kong sabihin hanggang sa medyo natapos na. Nanginginig na talaga ako nun at giniginaw kahit na nakapatay ang aircon. Nilalagnat na siguro ako. Ano na kaya ang iniisip niya ngayon? Papasok kaya siya? Paano na kaya? Lalayo pa rin ba ako? O itetext ko na siya ng madalas? Maiilang kaya siya? O babalik sa normal ang lahat na parang wala lang ung kanina?

The Library

2008-09-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

Sobrang bored na bored ako ngayong araw. Gustong gusto ko na matapos itong araw para makauwi na ako. But then.. napadaan ako sa ALB library..

I don't know why. Nakita ko siyang nagbabasa sa table. Bigla akong nagstop at napatingin sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung lalapit ba ako or hindi. Pero hindi ko mapigilan sarili ko..

Tinanggal ko lahat ng hiya ako. Lumapt ako at tinabihan ko sabay kinausap ko agad. Kinamusta ko lang siya... Library ba naman kasi..

After nun.. umalis na ako.. Tapos umupo ako sa ALB bench sa harap ng fountain. Ako'y napaisip ng matagal about sa mga bagay bagay.. At siyempre.. umaasa din ako na bababa siya kasi gusto ko siya makita ulit.. pero malapit na mawala ung araw, hindi pa rin siya bumababa... so umuwi nalang ako..

Pero after nung event na un.. parati ako napapadaan sa dalawang library sa UAP para lang mahanap ko siya. Pero nagkakataon na wala na siya parati.. Hindi ko na alam kung saan siya nagpunta. Kahit saan sa school, hindi ko na siya makita.. Wala na akong balita sa kanya..

Pero hanggang ngayon.. mahilig pa ako tumambay sa library at magbasa ng kung ano ano pero nagiintay lang talaga ako.. at baka.. makita ko ulit siya...

Extraordinary

2008-09-04T18:09:00.000+08:00

It has been a while.. The feelings i had these past few weeks were unexplainably extraordinary. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit naging ganito pero i always feel excited when i'm with you... before, i remember meeting you somewhere but i did not really care kasi.. then we were introduced to each other.. at first, i really did not care since again because you seemed to be quite weird... or maybe super weird from the rest.. after a few weeks of knowing you, nagbago ang lahat! i could not believe that i wanted to see you more and more... ang saya ko kapag nakakausap kita or kahit nakikita manlang.. my day seems to be extraordinary whenever i'm able to just be with you.. Though you are not the ideal person i had in mind eversince, you were able to make me realize that nagiiba ang ideal person para sa akin kasi nagiiba rin ako habang tumatagal. I still remember a long time ago, noong pababa ako sa ACB. You surprized me by suddenly bumping me (intentionally) without me seeing you.. instead of getting angry, i froze! What in the world happend to me! Then you laughed at me while I was still out of my mind. Hindi ako makapaniwalang kaya mo yun gawin sa akin. But thanks for making my day extraordinary by just the little things you do.. Until now, hindi ko masabi in detail kung ano ung nararamdaman ko, pero i'm happy because you are always there... During my sad days, you are there to make me smile... All I can say right now is.. Thanks...

Checked Into Rehad

2008-03-23T14:23:00.000+08:00

Baby, baby,
When we first met,
I never felt somethin' so strong,
You were like my lover and my best friend,
All wrapped in one with a ribbon on it,
And all of a sudden you went and left,
I didn't know how to follow,
It's like a shock that spun me around,
And now my heart's dead,
I feel so empty and hollow.

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you,
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back,
And you're the one to blame,
And now I feel like.

Ohh, you're the reason why I'm thinkin',
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more,
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinkin',
Should've never let you enter my door,
Next time you wanna go on and leave,
I should just let you go on and do it,
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed...

It's like I checked into rehab,
And baby, you're my disease...

Damn, ain't it crazy when you're loveswept,
You'd do anythin' for the one you love,
'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there,
It's like you were my favorite drug,
The only problem is that you was using me,
In a different way than I was using you,
But now that I know it's not meant to be,
I gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you.

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you,
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back,
And you're the one to blame,
And now I feel like.

Ohh, you're the reason why I'm thinkin',
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more,
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinkin',
Should've never let you enter my door,
Next time you wanna go on and leave,
I should just let you go on and do it,
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed...

It's like I checked into rehab,
And baby, you're my disease...

Ohh, you're the reason why I'm thinkin',
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more,
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinkin',
Should've never let you enter my door,
Next time you wanna go on and leave,
I should just let you go on and do it,
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed....

My Story

2008-03-21T09:27:00.000+08:00

Remember when...

We were walking down the street
It was just you and I
There was a gentle breeze
You said: I like how the wind plays with your hair

We were watching a movie
We sat at the back and centre
The film started rolling
You said: I like how the projector light touches your skin

We ate dinner downtown
We were all dressed up
There were candles
You said: I like how the fire reflects in your eyes

We were going home
We were in your car
It was a stop
You said: I like how you fit in my front seat

We talked on the phone
You were in New York
There was laughter in the background
You said: I miss you

We met after your trip
It was raining
The sky was dark
You said: I was unfaithful, I'm sorry
I said: I know, I heard her laugh

We looked at each other
You held my hand
My tears started falling
You said: I still want to be with you
I said: I know...

We stepped closer
I looked at you
I smiled sadly
I said: Forgive me... cause I can never forgive you...

Ang dating pag-ibig.. Pag-ibig nga ba o infatuation lamang???

2008-03-15T21:52:00.000+08:00

Ngayon2 lamang ay bigla na lamang nag pm ang aking kaibigan na matagal ko nang di nakakausap.. Maiksi lamang ang aming dialogo ngunit napakalakas ng tama sa akin.. Maitatanong ninyo kung bakit ang sagot ay dahil dati akong nagkagusto sakanya.. Alam kong hindi ko pa siya nakikita kahit isang beses sa personal puro sa mga litrato lamang.. Gandang ganda ako sakanya.. Nakakatawa pa nga kung pano ko siya nakilala hanggang ngayon alalang alala ko pa..

Gabi noon ng magtext ang aking matalik na kaibigan at tinanong ako kung ok lang ba makipagtext mate ang kanyang TITA sa akin.. Ang aking unang naisip ay.. "TITA!? matanda na!?" ngunit bago ko pa ito maitanong sknya ay huli na ang lahat at nagtext na sa akin ang kanyang tita.. Kaya iyon kamustahan etc.. Nang makita ko ang kanyang litrato ay hangang hanga ako sa kanyang kagandahan.. Bata pa siya ha kasing edad ko lang siya haha baka kung ano isipin ninyo.. At tumagal kaming nagtext2 at nakilala ko siya ng husto.. Sa punto na nagsasabi na siya ng mga sikreto sa akin.. Di nagtagal eh me nararamdaman na ako sakanya.. Tarantang taranta ako kapag magttext siya.. Gusto ko magtext na lang kami buong magdamag kaso kelangan nya matulog hehe.. Tumatawag din siya paminsan.. May mga pagkakataon ngang me klase ako eh tatawag siya napakasweet.. Masasabi nating nakakatuliro siya.. Kahit na malayo siya at taga Cavite siya eh ganun na ang aking nararamdaman.. Kahit ndi ko pa siya nakikita ng personal.. Kaso di din nagtagal ay unti-unting nababawasan ang aming pagtetext at tawag kaya ako ay labis na nalungkot..

Hindi ko alam kung tunay nga bang umibig ako sakanya o nabighani lamang sa kanyang kagandahan.. Ang alam ko lang ay napakasarap ng aking pakiramdam kapagkanakakausap ko siya o kahit katext at chat man lamang.. Ang kanyang pagkausap sakin ngayon2 lamang ay nakapaglagay ng ngiti sa aking mukha.. Sapat na sa akin ang malaman kong naaalala pa niya ako at naituturing pa ding isang kaibigan.. Hindi ko naman sinasabing liligawan ko siya at na gusto ko.. Siguro maging malapit na kaibigan ay ok na ako hindi ko ito sinasabi lamang para magpaimpress ngunit ito talaga ang tunay kong ninanais.. Kaya ang aking hangarin ay ang makita siya sa personal kahit isang beses kahit isang segundo.. Tunay nga namang nakakamiss siya.. Hanggang ngayon.. Hanggang sa kami ay magkita.. Sana ay mabigyan pa ako ng pagkakataong mapalapit sakanya.. Marami pong salamat sa oras..

The Perfect Love

2008-03-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

Have you ever known a PERFECT LOVE? I have. A love so beautiful and real; it’s almost impossible to express how you feel. A love that has lasted a life time. The kind of love so pure that heartache and pain hasn’t faltered it. Have you ever known a love that is always there never judging, and always fair. A love so strong in your heart that nothing can tear it apart. Love that wipes away the tears, carries you through all your fears that is never criticizing, a love that defends you, that you can share all of your desires with, your fantasies and your dreams. A love that understands your most inner intimacies, a love that has survived the test of the years come and gone. This is a love that grows stronger as the years pass. A love that comes along ‘once’ in a lifetime... A love ‘through the years’; And sadly it is also a love that can de destroyed in the blink of an eye...

Now when that happens its comparable, no, its beyond comparable to any knife stabbed in the depths of your heart. Thats how painful it is; sadly all I ever do and all I've ever done was to kill my emotions and let the pain die out like slow poison spreading throughout my body... and this is the day I realize that "I have known a PERFECT LOVE."

Irony

2008-03-09T13:45:00.000+08:00

Why is it that love does not choose those who seek it but select those who don't seek it, who really don't need it. I've observed in my life so far that those who are alone, those who need someone to be with to get through their life, never really find someone. While those who don't deserve it get to be with someone who cares for them that to at some point they'll hurt them.

Is this the irony of life?

Is love in this world one big joke?

Sikreto ng sikreto..

2008-02-26T18:50:00.000+08:00

"Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag.." ito ang sinasabi ng karamihan. Kung inyong susuriin ang katagang ito, hindi ba parang sinasabi nito na WALANG SIKRETO dahil darating din ang araw na mabubunyag ito. Ano nga ba talaga ang gamit ng sikreto?

Para sa akin ang pagkakaroon ng sikreto ay paraan ng mga tao na itago ang mga bagay-bagay sa kadahilanang baka makaapekto ito sa taong nasa paligid niya. Natatakot ang taong ito na magiba ang tingin sakanya ng ibang tao lalo na kung ang sikretong kanyang itinatago ay may kinalaman sa isang ispesipikong tao. Pero sa puntong ito alam na ng taong me sikreto na mabubunyag din balang araw ang kanyang sikreto pero hindi lang siguro sa kasalukuyan panahon.

Ngayon sa isang sitwasyon, may dalawang tao si A at si B. Sabihin nating may sikretong itinatago si A kay B. Kaya nagsikreto si A dahil natatakot
siyang magiba ang tingin sakanya ng mga tao at lalo na ni B. Ngayon kung dumating ang
puntong inalam ni B ang sikreto ni A, dapat ay hindi siya magpapaapekto sa nilalaman ng
sikreto ni A. Dahil si B ang gumawa ng paraan upang malaman ang sikreto ni A. Kung masama
man ang nilalaman ng sikreto ni A tungkol kay B, hindi dapat magalit si B. Dahil kaya nga sinikreto ni A kay B dahil ayaw nyang masaktan si B o kaya naman ay magalit. Eh ito namang si B inalam. Kung aalamin man ni B ang sikreto ni A, sana ay antayin nyang sabihin mismo ni A kung ano sikreto niya bago siya magreact, dahil "Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag" darating din ang araw na sasabihin ni A ang sikreto nya kay B. Si A lang ang nakakaalam kung kailan niya masasabi ang kanyang sikreto.

Totoo walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag pero tandaan natin me dahilan kung bakit isinikreto ng isang tao ang isang bagay. Kaya kung atin mang aalamin ang sikretong ng isang tao, huwag tayong magpapaapekto, huwag sana magiiba ang tingin natin sakanya at huwag natin siyang huhusgahan. Magagawa lamang natin ito kung ang sikreto ay ibunyag mismo ng taong me sikreto. Pero hanggang sa hindi pa dumarating ang araw na ito, huwag muna tayo papaapekto.. ^^ Ating respetuhin ang isa't-isa.. ^^

(Ito ay isang payo lamang at hindi leksyon.. Ito ay pawang opinyon ng nagsulat lamang..^^ Masaya to pag inapply nyo sa love life lalo un mga ilangan.. ^^ Pero hindi lang ito pang love life, akma din ito sa araw-araw na buhay.. ^^ Pagisipang mabuti.. ^^)

My Wish

2008-02-26T18:35:00.000+08:00

As I look up in the dark sky... I think about you.. just as I always did years ago. In all my dreams you were there by my side. Whenever I though of something, there was always a place for you in my mind. Even though years have passed, I still think you the same way as I thought about you. But I hope that all my thoughts will just remain thoughts for eternity. I really want something substantial to happen. I want to believe that anything can happen if I do my part. But of course, it would really be wonderful if the two of us have the same thoughts about each other. I really cannot imagine you thinking about me the way I think about you. I really want you to think about me too because I feel that it really is unfair because I spend most of my time thinking about you. Even though I know it is wrong and selfish for me to think that way, I cannot stop myself because I cannot stop thinking about you. I don't want to believe that this is just a one way road. Even till this very day, I still wont give up on thinking about you.

Lakas Tama..

2008-02-22T19:09:00.000+08:00

Why is it that whenever I get a chance to look at her eyes I can't stop thinking about her. Even though I'am doing something then all or a sudden her face pops in my head. Even though I am really not thinking about her and trying not to think about her, she suddenly pops in my head. I am really blown away by her beautiful eyes. But I'm just another guy standing from a distance admiring her beautiful eyes, nothing more but much much less.

One Look...

2008-02-19T19:22:00.000+08:00

One Look, and I'm mezmerized by your eyes...

un lang! the end!

Simpleng Crush..

2008-02-18T15:23:00.000+08:00

Wala lang.. Crush ko siya since the very first time i saw her.. Di ko lang masabi sakanya dahil baka mapahiya ako.. Sigh..

That Girl

2007-02-17T01:44:00.000+08:00

Oh tonight I'm feeling fine
I'm alone just wasting time
no Friday movie nights or romantic candlelights

I'm just having conversations
with the thoughts in my head
all I hear are angels crying
oh won't they just sing instead

It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her
that I love her more than life
more than life, love her more than life

Honestly, this won't do
how is she doing?
I tell myself I'm feeling swell
but I know I'm such a fool
I'll just take it as a new beginning
but you know I don't feel that way
who will take all this pain away?

I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her
that I love her more than life
more than life, love her more than life

Talk about a sin
was the day I walked into the other side
I would run back in
I wouldn't waste no time

I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side
I don't need that girl in my life
I don't want to talk it out
or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind
I don't want to say that she's mine
I don't want to tell her
that I love her more than life
more than life, love her more than life..

...

2006-12-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

ei... it's been a while... la ako magawa eh... so i will continue my story nalang...

so we didn't talk for a while... as in nothing... and i was still left in the dark... then one night my sister introduced me to the yahoo messenger... i know i should know how to use one but i never did because someone beat me to my username... i just used an extra yahoo account of my kuya... then i had no one to add... then thanks to my good memory i remembered her email adress... i was so lucky brcause at the same time she was online too... she immediately added me and asked who i was... i introduced myself and greeted her... she had nowhere to go... i had her cornered... so i asked her why she acted like i didn't exist...

she told me that she heard something about me... then she asked me if there was anything that i said about the two of us... i was so nervous... i thought that maybe she found out that i fell for her... how scary... well... i didn't have a choice so i told her that i like her... and i asked if that's what she heard... there was a smiley that came next... and unfortunately that wasn't what she heard... how embarassing...

she then explained that someone told her that i told someone that we had a dinner date and we were close to being in a relationship... i was shocked... no... i was infuriated... i wanted to grab that person's head and smash it into a wall...

i then explained to her that i know nothing about the rumors... i also told her that the dinner date may be explained by me inviting her to the dinner party at my house... but i couldn't explain the other rumor... someone must have really hated me... and that someone will pay...

after a couple of days i found out whom the rumor originated from... he was a classmate of mine in biology... i confronted him on our next class... pero i punched the door very hard to get his attention... he denied it of course... but i was ready to kick some ass... but then she called... she begged for me to stop...

i didn't have a choice... i stopped... i don't actually know why... but there was something about her voice that calms me down...

every night we would meet chat using our yahoo messengers... and everything started to change...

will it ever be right?

2006-12-17T15:45:00.000+08:00

guy meets girl. girl has boyfriend. guy falls for girl. and eventually girl falls for guy. then girl breaks up with boyfriend to be with guy.

does this situation sound familiar? tell me. will it ever be right? what are the chances that the girl will not do it to the guy also? is it doomed from the start? will it be a vicious cycle with no end?

this is the situation i am in right now. i am the guy of course. and i am paranoid as hell. i hope she will be mine forever.

TORPE

2006-12-17T14:11:00.000+08:00

When will we know when is the "right" time? Actually, mahirap... We'll just feel it lang deep in our hearts... Na eto na... All or nothing...

Do you believe in destiny? That if you're really for each other, you'll end up being together? We'll "now" i "kinda" believe... You see... without the effort, destiny will be useless... Comeon, girls are not insensitive... Somehow they'll feel that you're falling for her... What? Are you waiting for her to make a move? do you want to see her in the arms of a stranger? well if you want to make her happy and you know that you can make her happy, make the move... Don't be that TORPE... even if she likes you she wont make a move... how will you know what she feels? don't be scared of what to happen... men should learn to accept the things he cannot change

So if it's the right time... do you want to make a move? or do you want to stay in the friend zone? well... there's nothing wrong in both... it's up to you... you have choices:
1) stay in the friend zone
for me this is a coward move... ok you'll remain attached to her... but there will be a time that you want to get out of the friend zone... but you can't even though you wan't to...
2) tell her
risky... but relieving...

sa mga Torpe... me kanta ang mga babae para sa mga Torpe...

Torpe (Barbie's Cradle)

H'wag na lang kaya
Hari ng katorpehan
H'wag, h'wag na lang kaya
'Di ka ba nagsasawa sa liwanag ng buwan

Chorus:
Namamatay na ang mga rosas sa tabi
'Di ka pa rin bumibili
Nauubos na ang oras sa kahihintay
Pero ni sulat ni tawag wala

Ba't mo pa kailangan ng tulay
Kahit ulap nagsasabi tayo bagay
Ba't mo pa kailangang magtanong
Kung alam mo na, alam mo na

Repeat Chorus

Namamatay na ang mga rosas sa tabi
'Di ka pa rin bumibili
Nauubos na ang oras sa kahihintay
walang sulat, ni tawag

Bridge:
Bilisan mo na ngayon
Kasi tumatakbo ang tren
Bilisan mo na ngayon
Iiwanan ka, iiwanan

Chorus 2:
Ayoko ng torpe
Ayoko ng torpe
Ayoko ng torpe
Ayoko ng torpe
Pero gusto kita...

Love Advice

2006-12-15T11:53:00.000+08:00

elo po! ngayon lang ako nakapost ulet. pero ngayon. di ako magkkwento. Magbibigya ako ng mga tips! yeap! pero galing lang sa movie na hitch na nacompile ko hehe.

[first lines]
Hitch: Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

Hitch: Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.

Hitch: Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

Hitch: One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get(Albert). Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once.

Estoy en amor?

2006-12-01T05:56:00.000+08:00

hehehehe...

hi block! (after a long time... nagpost din ako uli.. haha)

just want to tell you na may bagong crush ako sa skul! hahaha

she's my secret crush! as in nobody knows it except me!hahaha

kelan pa ba to nagstart? uhhh... probably last sem...

classmate ko kasi siya sa last subject ko every tuesday/friday last sem!

then i just realized na there's something different with this girl.

she's very quiet, mysterious and stylish.. haha

i also found out that she's into photography and arts...

Sa kaniya ko narealize that i have the tendency to be attracted with girls who are very artistic kasi almost all my past crushes are so much inclined to the arts! hahaha

and ngayon classmate ko uli siya sa last class ko twing tuesday/friday!

wow! hahahaha

tpos pareho pla kami ng pe time! hehehe

there was this time na sobrang nakakahiya...

we were having drills sa pe namin then bigla siyang dumaan tpos natamaan siya nung ball sa head niya!
eh i was the one who is supposed to catch the ball so nahihiya ako sa kaniya kahit di ako yung nakatama sa kaniya! hahaha parang i could have saved her from being hit by the ball but di ko nagawa!

sumigaw ako (sigaw na pang 2 meters) ng "sorry" sa kaniya and she just smiled and said she's fine.. hehe natatawa pa nga siya nung papalayo na siya eh hehehehe

pero if i were to evaluate kung anong level na yung pagccrush ko sa kaniya,
probably 10% crush ko pa lng siya hehehe...

i'm not really sure if she has a boyfriend already but i think she's still single hehehe
right now i don't have any plans to make a move..
steady mode muna hehehe

it all boils down to this question...

Who is she? hehehehe
i can only give the initials...
V.C.

til next time!

Not giving 100%

2006-11-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I just wanna say that if you don't give 100% it may mean that you're not sincere with her... so... you wanna give like 99% eh? just think about it... that 1% that you held back may be the difference between a lovely "yes" happy ending and "oh... you deserve someone better... ure just a friend to me nothing more nothing more nothing less..." and of course if you're gonna get busted in the end... at least you'll have no regrets such as "oh... if i was just..." or "she could've given me the yes if i had shown more effort"... of course it would be disappointing if you'd get busted although you've given her everything... but the girl that you love deserves ALL the love you can give! She deserves everyting you've got... why? because love is selfless and not selfish... what you should be thinking at the end of the day is have i done my part? have i given her the love she deserves? c'mon! if you were busted... take it like a man! u will be sad at first but eventually you're gonna stand tall and face the world... because failing is a part of it... i hope i made some sense

sag38

that idiot...

2006-11-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

I am the same person who wrote the previous post and i'm here again for more insights... instead of doing my friggin film thing, i decided to this... oh the joy...

Moving on... let's go to the business at hand w/c is lovelife because this blog is after all dedicated to the lovlife of it students... forgive me if i do reiterate some of the arguments in the previous post...

there he is... that idiot... sitting... thoughts in his mind wondering foolishly... then a girl showed up from nowhere... electric impulses rushed through out his entire body... butterflies flap furiously in his stomach... that feeling of elevation suddenly hit him... ecstatic happiness overwhelms him... the idiot is in love

guys usually fall for reasons beyond their understanding... it's really hard to explain why guys would fall to a girl in the first place... he'll just know deep inside his heart that he is already falling... so the next thing he does is think and consider the possibilities, however wonderful and unpromising it may be... after days of endlessly wondering and pondering... days of daydreaming and drooling at his classes... days of skipping meals... he makes a bold decision... to pursue the unexpected...

he courts her... gives her his time... his loyalty... his heart... his everything... everything he has dedicated for her... though he is unsure... he is ready to be hurt... although he is naturally shy... he does things that would embarass him for the sake of impressing the girl he loves... he's ready to jump without the parachute... he's so bold that insanity caused by love overpowers his mind... such courage and passion... but so naive...

in the end... he was rejected... his everything was not enough... the idiot... tired and weary... he gathers the pieces of his heart and tries to put the broken pieces together in vain... but he does not regret his decisions... because he is a man though an idiot... he's a man because he gave his everything... he's a man because he accepted the things he couldn't change... he's a man becaused he believed he can fly...

he must wait again to fall...

i failed to give some sort of an identification the last time i posted... God... i have no clue on what alias would suit me... ok... my codename would be sag38... duh... ok... the description that suits me is that i usually fall for girls that is somehow connected to bdminton... i really cant explian why... im not a love philosopher though... i'm just sharing my thoughts... i would like some comments although that is optimistic to the point of foolishness... kidding

sag38

giving... not expecting

2006-11-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

I have been doing some thinking and i believe and held on to an argument that love's main purpose is to give your love, your care, your time, your heart, your everything. Love's main purpose is NOT to expect something in return like being loved back... Another way to understand this concept is that you love a person although there is little hope that she may love you back... Yes... It/I may seem foolish, preposterous and unfair, it may seem a waste of time... No! Giving is not a waste of time... Giving all you've got is not waste of time... That's what love is all about for me... Giving all you've got although you may branded as an idiot or a fool... You won't care because she is the only thing on your mind... No matter how many times you try to get rid of the daydreaming, she wiall still be part of your life... If you love her and court her, you may not be rewarded by the love of the one you love, but the fact that you made someone lspecial to you is rewarding enough (for me)... and who knows? the unthinkable might happen... she may actually love you... for me it's just a bonus...

I think the worst sin of a guy who is in love with a girl is not letting the girl know that he is in love with the girl... Did i say a guy? i mean a SISSY... it sounds harsh but i hate those who won't find the courage to let it all out... Loving is all about making the leap in a cliff without the parachute... It's about believing wishing you can fly because of her... It's not caring whether you'll fall... because the experience... is rewarding enough

yes... some of you may disagree because we all have different concepts

...

2006-10-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

this will be my 2nd post about karla...

well... we did meet at the play... even though late ako the night turned out fine... after that naging good friends kami... we attended another play together and i invited her to a dinner party in my house... it was the birthday of my older brother and baby sister... she told me that she wasnt sure but she would try... then she invited me to her birthday... i told her that i would come to her birthday if she would come to the dinner party... she agreed...

her birthday came first... even though i knew that i didnt know anyone at the party i still came... i didnt want to disappoint her and it was her birthday after all... so pinakapal ko face ko... when i arrived i didnt see anyone whom i knew... she was talking to her friend on the couch so tinabihan ko siya... i think nabigla siya nung nakita niya ako... she offered me some food pero i wasnt comfortable eating with so many people whom i didnt know... so nag coke nalang ako... after a while they started singing on the karaoke... damn ang ganda ng voice niya... yung tipong perfect for love songs... and love songs she did sing... then some guy hugged her from behind while she was singing... shit... nakakasira ng view... boyfriend niya pala... i didnt expect the guy to be her boyfriend cause they werent that sweet at all at first... i was surprised when i felt something weird... parang di ako mapakali... i was fucking jealous pala... i cant believe i already fell for her... dun ko lang na realize... so i found a way to divert my attention... buti nalang may pool table... so i asked another guy if he wanted to play... so we did... a group of her friends watched us play... i think the game was good cause they were enjoying watching us play... one gay guy even told me that i should cool down cause my shots were too strong... dun ko na kasi binuhos selos ko... then lumapit siya to watch... then the game ended... i dont know what happened but i turned out that me and her boyfriend were playing... of course i couldnt afford to lose so i won the game... binuhos ko lahat ng galing ko sa game... soon after the game i left...

one day sa school we met due to a group project... medyo kinulit ko siya doon at nagalit siya... sensitive pala siya masyado... so medyo di kami nag pansinan for a while... i said sorry to her many times pero it took a while bago kami naging ok kami ulit...

she wasnt able to go to the dinner party... di daw siya pinayagan ng mom niya... pero nagdududa ako na galit pa siya sa akin... she said na hindi naman daw... pero di na niya ako pinapansin sa school... di na rin niya sinasagot calls ko... di na rin siya nag rereply sa mga text ko... so i was disturbed... i wasnt able to sleep for days and i smoked excessively to keep myself alert... nawalan din ako ng ganang kumain... ewan ko ba kung bakit siya naging ganun...

...

2006-10-07T01:58:00.000+08:00

this is about a girl that i just met this sem... im gona be writing a lot bout her so here goes my first post about her...

her name is karla... i never thought id fall for her... we were seatmates in literature class on the first day but i changed my seats... i dont know why but i did... i never found her pretty but i did notice that she was the best looking girl in our class... so i never bothered trying to talk to her or anything...

my friend who obviously likes her suddenly approached me... i was surprised cause they were usually together... he had a problem with her... he told me that one time he accompanied her to the gate where she would be fetched by her parents... then when her parents arrived her mom came out of the car and told him that she doesnt want to see him with her daughter again... he was obviously hurt... so i agreed to help him...

on my way to a resto i passed by a photo studio... one of the posters in the studio seemed familiar... then after a closer look i realized it was karla... damn was she beautiful... it was her picture on her debut... i was shocked cause i never realized she was that pretty...

one day when i was waiting for my driver i saw her waiting for someone too... i approached her with a smile and asked if she knew me... we were classmates but we never talked to each other... i was surprised when she said yes... i asked her who she was waiting for and she said she was waiting for her parents... i asked her if she was a model and she laughed... she said that it was just a one time thing... and the studio just wanted to post her picture... so i said that she would really be good at modelling... i didnt know at that time that i was already falling for her... but we were talking like we knew each other all too well... just when she was about to leave i asked her if she was going to watch the play that was required for us to watch with anyone... she said no so i asked her if we could go watch it together... she said yes... no doubt there will be another chapter in this story...

...

2006-09-04T14:29:00.000+08:00

i saw her again... the one that got away... the girl in my longest post...

i was on my way to my 7:40 class... sa car pa lang ay nakita ko na ang car niya... so i told my driver to overtake her car... i didnt want to see her again eh... so my driver did... and i got to school first...

when i arrived sa school pumunta agad ako sa elevator area kc 7th floor pa ang class ko... then i saw her coming... i thougt that she would just pick another elevator since tatlo naman eh... but she didnt... she was right behind me... i was so nervous that i called one of my friends to accompany me... pero kakagising lang ng gago... malalate daw... obviously... the sumilip xa... nakakatawa kc she was always known for her elegance and poise pero sumilip pa rin xa...

i felt very awkward... i thought i already got over her pero it seems like hindi pala... we talked about lots of things kahit sandali lang kami mgksma... well... it all ended when we arrived at her classroom...

now that i know where her class is i hope to see more of her... everything was blurry kasi after we went separate ways a few years ago... hope i canmake up for the lost time... and the lost opportunities...

rapunzel (part 2)

2006-08-31T20:47:00.000+08:00

hmmm... bute naalala qng sundan ung ginawa ko... mejo bc kc aq lately... as if u nid to know na bc aq... past 2ng kinikwento q ha... la lng... high school years pa 2...

hmmm.... d q n nga itatago ung babae sa rapunzel... parang nakokornihan na ko eh... la lng... la kc aq maicp na itawag sa kanya kaya ngayon irereveal ko na ang tunay niyang pangalan which is Chello... Ang ganda noh?! Kapangalan ng isang musical instrument... Well qng nalimutan nyo na... Mahaba ang buhok ni Chello, lampas bewang... Ang ganda pa ng buhok alagang alaga kasi... Kapag tumatakbo xa ngswasway ung buhok nya... Ako naman tulo laway sa pagkabighani... She also has a sweet face, grabe ang amo ng mukha niya... Mabibilog at maitim ang kanyang mga mata... Hindi xa maputi... pero ok lang, di rin naman ako maputi eh... qng maputi un parang nghalo ang gatas tska caramel kapag ngkatabi kami...

so mejo bibilisan q para d msyadong mahaba... nging friends kami ni chello... xempre aq ung ngextend ng friendship sa kanya... mraming kaming subjects na ang seating arrangement ay magkatabi kami... boy #10 kasi ako tas xa girl #10... So iyon... crush ko lang talaga xa nung time na yun at ang goal ko nung time na yun ay maging close friends lang kami kasi iba kapag me kaclose kang opposite sex... I've grabbed every opportunity to talk to her... kahit mga subjects na alam q naman, ngtatanong parin aq sa kanya at ngbobobohan para lang mgkaxcuse to talk to her... ngpapaturo pa nga ako sa kanya after classes sa library... ngmumukha tuloy aqng mangmang pero its ok... what matters is that i get to see the innocent sweet looking face and that long elegant hair that makes my day... eventually nging text mates kami... inaasar q xa palagi na kutuhin at huwag tatabi sa akin dahil bka kutuhin aq... she always reply... ndi ah! kala mo kung cnu kang gwapo... haha... pgkatapos ng weeks of texting and pagpapaturo ng mga subjects sa library... i decided to call her at her house... nung cnagot niya... shit! ang liit ng boses niya sa phone... tawa aq ng tawa... pero qt naman kahit maliit voice niya... we always talk about silly stuff such as embarassing moments... marami aqng nakwekwento sa kanya na stupid stuff dahil clumsy aq at madalas mgkaroon ng embarassing moments... tuwang tuwa naman xa kapag ikinukwento q sa kanya yun... ang qt ng tawa niya... hihiihihi... eventually... palalim ng palalim ang mga topics n npaguusapan namin... ung mga secrets namin naishahare namin sa isa't isa ska ung mga crushes... nung time na yun nafeel q na close na close na talaga kami...

nung summer ng 3rd year palagi parin kaming ngtatawagan sa phone... halos araw araw... mahilig xang magbadminton kaya kapag ngkaroon xa ng spare time iniinvite niya aqng mglaro... ndi naman talaga aq marunong mglaro nung time na yun... xa ang ngtulak sakin para ipursue ang sport na badminton... ngkakaroon din ng times na pupunta aq sa bahay niya para mglaro kami ng PS2... malaki yung bahay nila... palibhasa mayaman, lagi aqng busog kapag nandun aq...lagi rin xang nakakatulog kapag nanonood kami ng dvd sa bahay niya... sa kwarto niya kasi kami nanonood... xa nakahiga sa kama aq naman nkaupo lang... ang himbing niya talagang matulog... para xang sleeping beauty kapag natutulog... gustung gustu q kcng nkikita ang isang babae na tulog... para kasi sakin dun mo mapapatunayan qng maganda talaga ang isang babae... i want to stroke her long elegant hair at that time... nahiya lang aq... ndi q pa nahahawakan ang hair niya kahit minsan...

4th year na... swerte parin aq at nging kaklase q xa... parang ngdedevelop n nga ang feelings ko sa kanya... ang bait bait parin niya sakin... minsan nililibre pa nga nya aq eh... pg break naman pumupunta kami sa bench habang kumakain ng ice cream... kapag nangyayari yun, iniicp qng isang ice cream lang ang pinagsasaluhan nami... hehe... imagination q talaga... lagi pa kaming ngkokopyahan sa mga quizzes at exams... lagi din niya aqng pinagtatawanan kapag nkakatulog ako sa class... di parin nawawala ang tawagan at text... parang ngiging close kami every single day... npapansin q rin na ms ngiging sweet xa sa akin...

di nyo lang alam... nung time na yun multitasking aq... hahaha... d nyo parin gets… broaden your minds the key word is multi! qng d nyo parin gets... sori... pero c Chello talaga ang gustu q... i already wanted to take the plunge that will change the way she looks at me... niligwan q xa... im so lucky na ako lng nanliligaw sa kanya... pero kahit close kami... nhirapan aq... ngbago kasi ugali niya nung nanligaw aq sa kanya... parang unti unting nawala ung pgkasweet niya... pero sinasabi q lng sa sarili q na pakipot lang xa... kapal q

aq kc, gustu qng malaman ng lahat na mahal q xa... kaya ngpapansin ako palagi sa mga tao at sa kanya... i find it sweet kasi na proud ka na mahal mo ang isang tao... ung ndi ka nahihiyang malaman ng iba na mhal mo xa... ung gagawa ka ng cheesy, mushy and korny but the same time sweet deeds just to please her and to let her know how much she means to you... dbdb?? Prang dun nkikita qng hnggang saan kayang ipaglaban ng guy ung undying love nya para sa isang babae... sa tingin q nging useful ang kakapalan ng mukha q at that time... so kapag maraming tao sa corridor... dun q xa lalapitan at ibibigay ung flowers/love letter or kung anu man... tas lalakasan q pa ung boses q na tila ba gumagawa ng eksena... c Chello naman hiyang hiya... me isa ngang time na me klase kami tapos tumayo aq at sinabi sa teacher q na mabait na maam... please excuse me i will just give something important to my classmate... tas tumango ung teacher at kinuha q na ung red rose na nkatago sa bag ko at nilipitan q c chello saka q ibinigay yung rose... yung mga klasmeyts q ngsisigawan, yung teacher q npapangiti.. c chello gustu na atang lumabas ng room sa sobrang hiya... pero d q pinansin ung iba... nkafocus aq kay chello... di q inintindi ung mga tingin ng iba, mga cgawan at iba pang distractions... grbe ah... ang tagal qng pinagplanuhan yun... kahit papaano naman nahihiya aq pero qng mahal mo talaga ang isang tao hindi ka dapat mahiya na malaman ng lahat qng anung nararamdaman mo sa kanya... hindi karin dapat mahiya na makita ng lahat ang mga actions mo to show her that you love her... ndi naman ito pagpapasikat o pgpapaqt... gnun lang talaga ang naicp qng diskarte... db nga action speaks louder than words? 4 me this is the ultimate act of courage and love... qng ayaw nyong maniwala... dnt care... ur wasting ur time reading this...

after 6 months of intensive na panliligaw... cnagot din niya aq... naalala q pa nun... its just weeks before hearts day... january 18 yun... sinagot niya aq nung ngdate kami sa red ribbon... kiniis q xa sa cheeks... kiniss din niya aq sa cheeks... nahawakan q narin yung hair nya sa wakas... ang smooth talga grabe... ang haba pa! kiligz

haha... kala niyo tapos na ah... mtatapos na rin 2... nung unang month ng pagsasama namin... maganda ang aming relationship... open, walang away at masaya... lgi q xang hinahatid sa kanila... ang saya q nun... date sa sinehan! waah! Every week d pdeng walang date! Kahit maubos ion q ayos lng! Cnusubukan qng mging elegant as possible...

w8 di pa tapos…last paragraph n 2… e2 ung unexpected… nung 2nd month... parang lumalayo na ang loob niya sa akin... ngsusungit na xa... laging nagagalit at parang wala kaming msyadong communication... ngbreak kami... we only lasted for more than two months... cnb lng nya sa akin nung ngbreak kami... DI NA KITA MAHAL... grabe yung babaeng yun! mtapos qng ibigay ang lahat, gnun lng niya IBABASURA ang pagmamahal na ang tagal qng ibinigay sa kanya? gnun lng niya IBABASURA ang PGPAPAKAGAGO ko at PAGPAPAPANSIN q sa mga tao? gnun lng niya IBABASURA ang mga ginawa qng kahihiyan at kakapalan ng mukha mapaalam lng sa kanya kung gaano ko siya kamahal... grabe... IBINASURA lang niya ako... isinugal q kahihyan q… mapakita q lng ang pagmamahal q… kaya ang lungkot ng graduation eh... ilang weeks n lng nung ngbreak kmi graduation na... la na kaming communication ever since... ngtetext xa, di q nirereplayan... tumatawag xa sa bahay, di ko xa kinakausap... i hate her... cnagot pa q?! iiwanan din naman sa huli?! IBINASURA niya lang aq... galit parim aq sa kanya hnggang ngayon… di q na pinansin mga text nya... d q xa kinausap nung tumatawag xa… tpos nbalitaan q n lng na ngkabf xa… cguro d cla tumagal... ewan... I don’t care... I hate her dahil sa pngBABASURA nya sakin... grabe ung babaeng un... I hate her... but i do want wat’s best 4 her... parang stacie orrico song... "i hate you! but i love you! i cnt stop thinking of you! its true... im stuck on you..."

...

2006-08-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

ei... la na akong ma post eh... so i will post some moving love stories nalang... this will be the first... its entitled 'bittersweet symphony' by 'twisted halo'...

everyone's melodramatic... everywhere i turn... boys are humming sappy love songs given strong guitar rips and renamed "emo"... their little heads banging to whatever remnant of angst beating one with their pulse... it seems like every corner of the damned school is "mushified" by couples who seem to have been super-glued together... i want to stand in front of them and shout... "it's not gonna last... you morons..."

then i see him... and my knees turn to jelly...

"ah... if it isn't the one who got away..."

i haplessly struggle to collect myself and mutter curses incessantly... i pray that he doesn't see me... time to make a u-turn... uh-oh... too late... we make eye-contact... whoever turns away first loses... shit... i lose again...

i could feel the water soaking my shirt as i go out of the campus to escape from sharing breathing space with him... what better day to see him than on valentine's day... the most overrated season of the year... bouquets of flowers are carried by beaming girls and escorts sharing umbrellas... how pathetic...

i seek shelter in the tattered pages of my chemistry book... and wait for a taxi to pass by...

if someone would dare ask me why i bacame such a cynic i'd most probably scream at them... three years of waiting would turn any girl into a gloomy gus... three years of endless understanding and patience drove me mad... i would spend hours contemplating what his messages could mean... "i've never known anyone like you..." liar... liar...

i could keenly remember the last time he gave me flowers... it was a dozen roses presented to me exactly a year ago... i still have the ribbon of the bouquet kept in the burrows of my bedside drawer... but that was it... after that... nada... not even a hi...

i spent days and days wondering why he never called... why he never visited me when i was in the hospital... why he disappeared all of a sudden... but it's been a long time since i've stopped contemplating the loss... or shall i say... his loss... i realized that no man was not worth the time and tears... that was the day i ceased to believe in infatuation... and yes... love...

i return back to reality... 'tis was the fuss of valentine season... and i was alone... soaking wet... the rain felt for me... i cried... and it cried with me...

i felt the warmth of a hand beside my cheek... it was the hand offering me the comfort of a white handkerchief to wipe the snot off my face... i hesitantly look up... it's him... i freeze... the look on my face would give scared korean horror movie actors a run for their money... i guess he saw this for he instantly stuttered endless words of apology...

"i just thought you needed this... i saw the tears fall down your face... and i couldn't help but wipe them off... look... i'm really sorry... here... take it..."

what is this guy doing in front of me... and what do i do? i mutter thanks... and turn my back on him... he doesn't move... and i painstakingly wish he wouldn't... slowly... i found the exact words to say to him...

"why didn't you call? i waited for you..."

"i couldn't... i was scared..." was the reply...

"you idiot... what could you possibly be scared of?"

"you..."

"oh... how did that happen?"

"you have no idea how horrifying it is to like a girl like you... you're complicated and unreachable... yet i feel comfort in the sharpness and depth of your thoughts... i've liked you for far too long... yet i never really found the right words to tell you... and that is why i carefully waited for all this time to let you know how i feel... i sense that you are far too emotional for an ass like me... i couldn't even imagine how to comprehend the way you think and feel..."

i felt injustice at these words... i tell him "was that meant to inform me or make me feel bad because i am an unstable emotional being? if that's the case... then why tell me now? isn't it a bit too late?"

"no... i did not mean that... the moment i saw you standing there i can't help but think of how much i wanted to be by your side... i couldn't bear the thought of waiting more... because i was afraid of actually letting go of the only opportunity i may ever have... i hope i'm not too late..." was all he said...

"whoever said you were? i've been waiting for you all this time..."

"does that mean what i think it means?"

"i hope so..."

"gee... thanks..."

i felt the flutter of butterflies in my stomach as we shared the stillness and serenity of the drops of rain falling on us... we were quiet... yet the silence felt so at home... everything was a blur...

"hey... i really have to head off now..." i tell him...

"too bad... i should be going now too..."

"okay... so this is it?"

"yeah... i guess this is it..."

"am i dreaming?"

"i hope not..."

"on more thing..."

"what's that?" he asks me...

"i'm not emo..."

Kung alam mo lang sana...

2006-08-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

lobot yan! Wala na naman ako magawa.. inaantok n nman ako ngayon.. pagod na pagod na tlga ako lobot yan.. hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang totoong nararamdaman ko.. hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba siya o hindi.. kasi naman yung mga kaibigan ko eh lagi kaming ginugulo dati naman tuwing kumakain kami ng sabay tuwing umaga at sabay pumapasok sa klase ayos lang naman pero dahil sa mga lobot na yan.. lobot talaga! hahaha.. dati nagbibiro pa ko na kailangan ng back-up, pero ngayon hindi ko na masabi bakit ganoon? ngayon hindi ko na naiisip na magkaroon ng back-up.. hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ganoon eh.. lobot yan. tapos naisip ko, dahil sa mga lobot kong kaibigan.. paano kung naging kami? hahaha..

paano ko ba ito sasabihin sa kanya? hmm.. madalas nga kaming naglalakwatsa, nakikita ko siyang masayang masaya pero hindi ko masabi sa kanya.. hahaha.. pero teka nga lang.. lobot.. hmm.. napapaisip tuloy ako, bakit kaya siya masaya tuwing kasama ako? hindi kaya.. iniisip nya rin ako tuwing hindi kami magkasama? di kaya ganoon din pagdating sa phone.. lobot yan.. kapag nagriring ung telephone niya sa bahay, umaasa din kaya siya na sana ako ang tumatawag sa kanya.. di kaya pagonline niya sa yahoo messenger, ako ang una niyang titignan na pangalan.. hay ewan ko ba! lobot.. tama nga ba itong iniisip ko? hahaha..

love na ba ito? ibang-iba siya sa mga nakilala ko.. akala ng mga kaibigan ko hindi ako seryoso sa kanya.. sinasabi ko na lang, "sige lang, hindi naman totoo!".. pero sa loob ko, "grabe, cute niya talaga!".. parang nag-iiba ang ugali ko.. sa totoo lang, iniba niya ako.. hay ewan ko ba! sana nga love na ito!

i love you

2006-08-17T14:00:00.000+08:00

hello, if you are reading this i wanted to tell you..tell you how much im longing to hold you.. it seems like you are so close that i could see you and reach out for you...to grasp and plea that please hear my words...i do not know if this is the right time to tell you.. for who read this today, this moment i love you... i wanted to meet you right here at acb 4th floor wherein the banquet that i prepared just only for the two of us.. i bet you will love the fishballs and squidballs there is also kiukiam if you want we could add betamax(the square liver one) i also want to add isawisaw to make everything complete but wait theres more! beer and gins would lighten the venue more better than wine! i am here now just waiting here in the 4th floor waiting for my love whom im longing for..heal my hurt patient soul

- the romantic spirit of i.t. waiting for the one who will bring him love that would complete him

Tagong Pag-ibig..

2006-08-17T12:42:00.000+08:00

Hello guys! First time ko lang magpost dito. Bagong pasok palang ako sa ating block. Una, hiyang hiya talaga ako dahil wala akong kilala subalit, sa dulo ng aking mga mata, may nasulyap ako.. Isang babaeng mala-anghel ang mukha. ang kanyang ngiti ay masnagniningning pa kaysa sa mga bituin sa langit. napapangiti ako para tuwing nakikita ko siya na ngumingiti. Sa lahat ng mga babae sa block, siya lang hinahanap ng aking mga mata.

Isang taon na ang nakalipas.. Wala pa ring nakakaalam na may gusto ako sa kanya. Wala talaga akong pinagsabihan kahit ang mga nakaksama ko parati. Hindi ko pa rin masabi sa kanya ang aking nararamdaman. Sa tingin niyo..? Sasabihin ko ba sa kanya o hindi? Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Isang araw, nakatabi ko siya.. gustong gusto ko na sabihin sa kanya ang aking nararamdaman. Pero iba ang nasabi ko sa kanya. Sayang talaga! Pero ok lang. Ang dami pang oras para maitapat ko ito sa kanya.

Hindi na ako nakakatulog dahil parati ko siyang iniisip. Kahit sa school.. siya lang ang hinahanap ko. Hindi na ako nakakapagaral ng maayos dahil sa kanya. Kapag sinabi ko ba sa kanya, hindi ko na ba siya iisipin parati? Ito lang ang masasabi ko.. mahal ko siya.. patay na patay na talaga ako sa kanya..

Wala lang..

2006-08-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

medyo nalalabuan lang talaga ako sa sarili ko... bakit ganito.. bakit ganoon.. may gusto ako sa kanya pero hindi ko alam kung may gusto talaga ako sa kanya.. sana maintindihan niyo.. pero ganun lang talaga naramadaman ko noon.. hindi ko talaga maintindihan ang mga tao.. lalo na kapag nagkakagusto ang tao sa isang tao.. pano mo malalaman na may gusto ka sa isang tao..? pano mo masasabi at mapapatunay na gusto mo talaga siya? ganyan ang nararamdaman ko dati..

ganito kasi ang situasyon ko dati.. may isa akong gusto pero hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba talaga siya.. hindi ko masabi na gusto ko talaga siya dahil hindi ko alam kung may gusto ako sa kanya.. pero parati ko naman siya iniisip.. tapos tuwing may magtetext sa akin, parati ko sinasabi sa sarili ko na sana siya ung nagtext.. ganoon din pagdating sa phone.. kapag nagriring ung telephone namin sa bahay, umaasa ako na sana siya ung tumatawag sa akin.. pagonline ko sa yahoo messenger, una kong titignan ang pangalan niya (sana online siya!)..

kapag ganoon ang mga iniisip mo.. may gusto ka ba talaga sa kanya? ewan ko talaga.. pero habang tumagal.. dumami nanaman ang mga tanong ko.. pano naman kung ako yung nasa posisiyon ng taong gusto ko.. ano kaya ang mga iniisip niya tungkol sa akin.. pano ba malalaman kung may gusto sa akin ang isang tao? ang hirap talaga! pero ganyan talaga.. ang pangit naman kung nababasa natin ang iniisip ng mga tao.. walang thrill sa buhay kung hindi ganoon..

a nescafe moment sana

2006-08-05T23:35:00.000+08:00

ang ganda ng panahon tuwing umuulan... gustu qng umulan palagi... di naman aq palaka na nagiingay pg umuulan pero ewan q ba.... ders something in the rain that makes me go kilig... haha... kc naman ang sarap ng feeling na kasama mo ung chinecherish mo hbang umuulan... kayong dalawa lng... nilalamig at stranded... at nangagailangan ng mainit na yakap galing sa isa't isa... haha... imagination q tlaga...

me big date kc kmi ng frnd q... well... she considers me just a friend for now... but i still have feelings for her... niligawan q xa dati... pero... basted dahil cnagot niya ung isang guy na super gwapo na nanliligaw s kanya... shit... eniwei... break na cla ngayon... haha... ayaw n ng lalaki... buti naman... kc ngkamali ung friend q dahil xa ang sinagot imbis na aq... haha... so pgkatapos nilang mgbreak... ngkaraoon ult kmi ng communication... palagi niyang sinasabi na "mahal q parin xa"... haay... tanga ba xa? mahal pa rin niya kahit iniwan na xa... haha... pero gnun dn aq... love q parin xa kht binasted niya aq dati... hahaha...

oo nga pala... haha... parang lumayo na... so iyon may date kmi... well... para sakin date na yun... pero d q pa xa nililigawan… its not the right time pa kasi… kelangang mging patient… mglalaro lng naman kami ng favorite sport namin... hahaha.... dapat kc me ksama aqng mga klasmeyts... pero un4tunately, di cla makakapunta kaya solo q xa.... haha... may paun4tunately pa q... gusto q naman n un ang mangyari... hahahaha... ang sweet niya sakin the night before our "date"... tumawag kc xa sa bahay tas talak ng talak, kwento ng kwento... during our converstaion... cnb niya na out of the blue sa isa niyang class, naalala dw niya aq... hahaha... grbe... kiligz

so "date" na namin... pumunta ako sa house niya para sunduin xa, d p xa nkakaligo so pinakain niya muna aq... pinakain nya skin? cake! grbe... hehe... xa dw gumawa nun... haha... ako naman... indulge... inicp qng yun ang pinakamasarap na cake n ntikman q... pero masarap xa talaga... marunong kasi xang magluto ska magbake... pde nang mgasawa... hehe... so iyon.. kinausap aq ng mom niya... ung mom niya stewardess... binigyan niya aq ng chocolate! cadbury pa! haha... approve ermats niya sakin! so nligo c trizia... then ngbihis... lumabas n xa s kwarto niya... ganda niya talaga... sabi niya pumasok dw aq sa room niya... grbe! nakakain n q ng cake, nbigyan ng chocolates, nkapasok pa sa room niya! haha... sobrang swerte! ang ganda ng room niya... malinis, maliwanag, ang red... red ung paint ng walls niya... favorite niya red... red n dn favorite q... hehehe... ang daming pictures sa room niya... puro vain pictures niya... ang sarap kunin lahat! haha... nanghingi ako sa kanya ng picture... sabi niya sakin kumuha dw ako sa pc niya... bte n lng dala q flash drive q

kaming dalawa lng ang naglalaro sa court na iyon... hahaha... ang galing niya grabe... mejo d q n nga hinahabol ung bola kc bka pgpawisan aq ng madami ska mapapagod lng aq... haha... xempre... ihave 2 look good and smell good... hahaha... ibang iba xa ngayon... she seems so happy... ndi na xa msyadong ngsusungit... di na xa nkasimangot... pero mganda xa pg bad3p xa... hahaha... naiicp q 2loy na she's happy na kasama niya aq ngayon... haha... umaasa parin... nka 5 sets nga kmi... after one set... pahinga kami... haha... hinaharot niya aq pg ngpapahinga kmi... haha...san kapa? prang full of energy xa... tawa xa ng tawa... aq naman gustu qng mgccgaw sa tuwa pero pinipigilan q lng ang sarili q... hahahaha... kilig talaga... nsabi q nb na magaling siya? sa bawat tira niya... sa bawat habol niya... ang ganda ng hair niya... sumasayaw hbng tumatakbo xa... hahaha

tpos na kaming maglaro... ngshower kmi... xa ngshower sa png girls tas aq sa pangboys...hahaha... bka kc icpn niyo sa isang shower room lng kmi ngshower... hahaha... mga lokoloko! mga aroung five nung ntapos xa... ang ganda ng suot niya... hahaha... di ko aakalain na mgsusuot xa ng ganoong damit... babaeng babae ang dating niya... hindi yung boyish na girl na nakilala q... hahaha... gutum kmi so ngdecide aq na mgdinner na kmi... hahaha... sa don henricos sana kami kakain pero kulang pera q... kya sa pizza hut n lng kmi... gustu niya kc ng pizza... hahaha... hbng kumakain kmi... bgla xang napapatawa pg tumitingin xa skin... tnanong q qng bkit... cv niya... mukha daw aqng bata... kala niya dw nung 1st time naming mgkita na high school pa lng aq... haha... tas iyon... kwentuhan kmi... npgkwentuhan pa namin ung high school musical na movie... pareho naming gusto ung movie... hahaha... yeahboi... kahit small thing lng un... kilig parin aq... tas ayun... kumakanta kmi hbng nasa pizza hut... haha... xa naunang kumanta... di ata marunong mahiya... kinakanta niya ung high school musical na song... ung "Soaring! flying!" hahahaha... bte konti lng tao... hahaha...

nsa sakayan n kmi ng jeep/fx... haha... di umulan... sayang... sana lng nung time na yun umulan... umulan lng kc hbng nglalaro kmi ng badminton... sana umulan nung time na yun... para nescafe moment... nilalamig kami hbng nghihintay ng jeep...tas untiunti q xang aakbayan... haaay...ang weather talaga... d marunong makisama... haha...

so iyon... nsa fx kmi... grbe trafik! nkatulog n xa... nkayuko xa... naisip qng mangangawit ung ulo niya kapag natulog siya na ganun ang posisyon... so time for D MOVES! Haha... inakbayan q xa tas sinandal ko ang ulo niya sa balikat q... ang masama ngcng xa! Haha... kala q malulutong na sampal aabutin q... bte hindi… sabi niya... ayos ka rin ah... tas bigla xang napatawa... pgkatapos 2mawa sumandal na xa sa balikat ko... haha... grbe ung filing na yun... ang swerte q nung araw na yun...

naihatid q naman xa sa bahay niya... nasa g8 kmi... ngthank u xa... ng enjoy dw talaga xa... ngthank you xa dahil im a nice "friend" daw... thank u daw dahil nanjan dw aq plagi... haha...
nggudnyt aq, nggudnyt xa... cv nya take care... tpos... nandun lng kmi... parang tumigil ang oras... d pa xa pumapasok sa bahay... aq nakatingin sa kanya... parang may hinihintay xa... aq naman pgkatapos ng mahabang silence... umalis n q... nilingon q ult, nkapasok n xa...

Waah... I'm so tactless talaga! Chance na dapat yun para mggudnyt kiss... haha... pero pg ginawa q un... bka masampal aq... haha... grbe... pero it's a risk im willing to take... d q naman ginawa... kainis...

...

2006-07-23T03:59:00.000+08:00

ei... this will be my 4th blog... and this will be bout my friend whom i badly want to spend the rest of my life with... bigat ano? well... it started out like this...

remember on my previous posts bout my 1st gf... well... she shoudnt have been that girl... the truth is... shes not my first choice... my first choice was a very cute chinita whom i barely know... i did the usual things i would do if i like a girl... i asked her number and she gave it... so we started texting... she didnt reply at first pero nag reply din xa after some time... i asked the basics like ilan silang magkapatid and stuff... then i asked if i could call her house... k naman daw... but shes not that interesting kausap... then when meet kami ng barkada ko sa village... it seems pala that my closest friend their is courting miss chinita... our friendship was never the same... i treated him as a taksil... even though he isnt... then i found out that my closest friend from my former village liked her too... then i thought that i cant do this to my friends just for a girl... and they wouldnt do that to me too... so i stopped texting her... it seemes strange kasi di niya ako hinanap... nasanay na kasi ako na hanapin ng girl na bigla ko lang pipigilang itext...

then the 6th grade ended and i have a flourishing relationship... but i dont understand why one time i just had to text her... i was on a seaside resto at that time... mga 3pm... then to my surprise she replied... she asked if there was any special occasion why i texted... i told her no... i just missed her... kahit na may nililigawan na ako... an even bigger surprise came when she told me it was her birthday... i was so embarassed... but di good news lahat... may bf na pla xa... my friend from my village... i was devastated... pero weird dba? faith? destiny? i dont know...

then 2yrs passed na walang contact... i lost my phone and her number along with it... new phone new life... or so i thought... but on that year i was returning to my old school... and thats where shes studying... on my first day i was really excited... it was my old school so i would expect some of my old friends to be my classmates... but one stood out from the rest... it was her... i was so happy... overjoyed... ewan... so i went to class... everyone quickly recognized me... including her... wow... she still knows who i am... and luckily shes my seatmate for the whole year... yahooo... grabe... we talked a lot... we got so much closer... we even talked bout the strangest of things... she hates crabs as i do... and both our families love to eat crabs except for the both of us... weird... we talked so much that wala akong natutunan sa chem namin... sympre... sino ba pipiliin kong pakinggan? ang matandang lalake na chem teacher or a princess? sympre ang lalake... hehehe... joke lang... i had to cram on the finals to pass... whew... everything went fine except for one little detail... may kanya kanya kaming syota... waaaa... bago na naman bf niya... pero alam ko na la akong binatbat sa bf niya... isang lasallista na 2yrs older sa amin na super mega yaman... and im just a rich boy turned smart ass gangster... unfair dba? a princess deserves a prince... not a thief...

the schoolyear finally ended and then pasukan na naman... time to check whos gona be my classmates again... and wham... there she is again... i dont know if its a gift or a curse... basta classmates kami... yahooo ulit... and this time were both single... since classmates din kami last year malamang kami ang magkakasama... and i was falling even more in love with her... one problem... i cant get it out of my chest... im fuckin torpe kasi... i dont know why but shes the only girl na di k kayang sabihan ng i love you... bakit lord? everyone sees na may gusto ako sa kanya... i ask my friends kung alam ba kaya niya na i like her more than a friend... they would all tell me na obvious naman daw... so i tried my best not to be obvious... i may have overdone it also...

my first mistake was on the first few weeks of classes... she told me that she requested for a transfer to another class kc dun mga friends nya... i stopped and just said "ok"... nagalit xa kc bkit yun lang daw ang reaction ko... she even asked me if i wont stop her... i told her no kc its wat she wanted... pero s loob looban ko i was shattered... makakasama ko na sana xa 1 more year nawala pa... pero thank god di na2loy transfer nya...

den she started to ask me if i loved her... di seryoso mga tanong niya so i would just raise my eyebrow and say no... waaa... why cant i tell her... tinatanong na nga eh... punyeta ko talaga... she asked me numerous times pero la parin... waaaa...

we wer always groupmates kasi nga close kami... some people even mistake us for lovers... sana totoo... there was one activity in school wherin we would have to do some voluntary work for charitable organizations... i was the leader so hurray... i asked her where she wanted to go since 8 weekends kami doon... so i wanted her to be at least happy sa experience... she said philippine eagle park... i told her shed get what she wants... so that afternoon kinausap ko kaagad teacher ko sa cle(christian living education)... medyo close kami since sakristan ako... he told me di raw pwede yung hinihingi ko since random daw dapat ang pagpili... i had no choice but to tell him the truth... that i wanted to impress her... he understood... binigay niya sa amin ang philippine eagle... laki ng smile niya...

things were interesting... there were 5 of us in the group... isang absenot(he never attended once) dlwang magsyota and kming dlwa... i was so happy since magsyota ang mga kasama nmin we would have to give them privacy resulting to privacy for us... we did mostly nothing doon... one time i bought her beef chicharon which we both loved... yummy... but not everything went smoothly... one particular moment was when she asked if pwede ba raw kaming umakyat sa treehouse... walang tao dun so solong solo namin... instead of doin d moves nagyosi ako... sobrang nerbyos ko na kc eh... gago talaga ako... nainis xa and asked to go bak down agad... waaaa...

then somethin happened that scared the shit out of me... there is this other close friend of hers din kc... guy din... if shen not with me shes with him... then hiniwalayan yung guy ng gf niya... then he told the girls bestfriend that hes starting to fall for her... he made the bestfriend swear not to tell... but as you can expect the bestfriend told her... she started to make iwas to the guy... i asked why then she explained everythin... i was happy at first coz now masosolo ko na talaga xa... den i realized that she may feel the same way when i tell her how i really feel... so i told her to talk to him nalang kc di naman niya kasalanan na ma in love sa kaniya... she agreed and thanked me... i felt saved...

den valentines came... a week before valentines she told me lonely xa kc la daw xang matatanggap this year since la xang bf... she wanted a bouqet daw sana... so i decided it would be now or never... i secretly arranged for a bouqet of pink and white roses for valentines... and while i was at it i bought my lil sis and mom some too... my mom was so happy that she gave me a midnight surprise chocolate cake... it was heart shaped... so what happened was this... my driver delivered the cake sa haus niya b4 lunch break... when she arrived home (coz she goes home during lunch break) nandun na yung cake... she called me agad to thank me... i was wid my barkada sa mall coz dun pa sila bibili 4 valentines... fools... dont they know that such a delicate matter such as this needs to be planned? by the time we arrived back sa school naka antay na ang driver ko... nandun na ang fresh bouqet... i got it out of the car then slowly went up the stairs... when i alighted nakita ko kaagad xa... nakatalikod xa and she was talking to a classmate of ours... then nung papalapit na ako tinuro ako ng kausap niya then iniwan xa... as i gave it to her she was wearing a super big smile... then she asked me in the sweetest way kung bakit ko xa binigyan ng roses... i was so nervous... nakikita ko ang mga mukha ng mga classmates and friends namin na sumisilip... finally... i cracked... i said "wala lang, hiningi mo eh"... as she heard that her smile immediately turned to a super big frown... she walked away and i was so angry at myself... i heard countless sighs from my classmates... what a fool i am... pero pls give me some credit... it was my first time to give someone a bouqet... yup... kahit mga naging gf ko wala... xa lang...

then may isang exam kami na para sa buong batch... before kami pumasok sa room she asked if pwede ba raw magkatabi kami... i gladly said yes... then umupo na kami beside each other... then dumating ang proctor amd asked us to line up alphabetically outside... nasayangan ako sa opportunity... then to my surprise kami pa rin ang magkatabi... tapos may pumasok bigla na late... we all had to adjust... so new seating arrangement na naman... pero kami na naman ang magkatabi... 3 yata ang late that day so we had to be rearranged 3 times pero parati pa rin kaming magkatabi... then she told me the sweetest words... "wow, meant to be siguro tayo"... it was music to my ears... i think i was the happiest day of my life coz lumabas ang full potential ko... i got a 99 percentile rank on the exam meaning 99 percent who took the exam had lower scores than me... it was the highest score one could get... i calculated it and i found out that only 5 of us could get 99... and i found out that the other four were all from the honors section... among the four was our the valedectorian and salutatorian... i was shocked...

then one day a friend asked if i could accompany him later sa isang office... he told me he was gona pass a poem he was working on para ma publish sa annual compilation ng school... i asked kung pwede rin ba akong gumawa... he said pwede pero i had to do it before 5pm kc deadline na... it was 1:30pm na... so i wrote a poem kaagad... i finished it in less than an hour... then a month later lumabas ang compilation... then one of my loud mouthed classmate yelled my name... "uuuyyy, ikaw to ah, alam ko kung para kanino to"... then everyone knew in no time na may poem ako... i was a known gangster sa school tpos may sensitive side... it was something new... well... it went like this...

you sit here beside me
not knowing how i feel
weve been friends since forever
but nothings what it seems

at your lovely eyes i stare
i cant help but fall in love
it hurts so much and i cant bear
i know its you whom i cant have

so i guess ill just keep quiet then
and hope youll never find
the lonely things i keep inside
these silent dreams of mine

its entitled silent dreams by the way... she asked me for whom it was daw... i said for no one...

then retreat came... it was a 3 day 2 night retreat for the class... we were so close during the retreat... she would let me embrace her which i took to my delight... i cant believe anyone could have super soft skin... then she asked me a serious question... she asked if she should give her ex ( the lasallista guy ) another chance... she asked another guy who liked her earlier and he said no... coz marami pa daw iba jan... it was my chance... but i didnt take it... i cant take advantage of her... i told her that she should... kc baka magsisi pa xa... and if d guy would make loko again i told her to drop him agad... at least binigyan nya ng 2nd chnce dba? but i wasted another perfect chance... pero i only want the best for her... at least di ako lumabas na selfish prick... i also gave her a little surprise during the retreat nga pala... i bought some of those beef chicharon that she really liked... i had to drive an hour just to get those but they were worth it...

then graduation came... i couldnt believe that umabot na ng 1yr ay di ko pa rin nasasabi sa kanya... so i decided na ito na talaga ang last chance... so i wrote everythin down in a letter... i cant post my letter since its so personal... it came from the bottom of my shattered heart... we were gona part and sobrang nabitin ako... i asked my lady friend to give it to her... my friend told me she read it daw kaagad pero la daw reaction... then for the celebration the whole family went to gloria maris ( a chinese resto )... patapos na ang meal namin nang bigla akong kinausap ng lil sis ko... "diba si ate *** yan?"... akala ko biro lang pero nagulat ako nung nakita ko talaga siya with her family... fuck... ano ba to?

2yrs have passed since the graduation... di kami nagkaroon ng maayos na conversation ever since... a friend of mine told me that sila pa nung lasallista guy... going strong pa daw sila... well... i hope a miracle could happen so that i could be with her... i really want to spend the rest of my life with her... and i wouldnt mind if it would take a lifetime for that to happen...

Rapunzel (Part 1)

2006-07-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

Ahem... Sarap mgkwento ng love stories... Kakainspire eh ska ang sarap balikan ng mga masasayang memories...

Napakaimmature ko nung una qng dting sa highskul... Ugaling "totoy" ika nga... Pglipas ng ilang years, ngmature ako ng onti pero immature parin dahil wala pa aqng experience sa love... Sana wg kayo antukin dahil mahabahaba 2ng ikwekwento ko...
Magsisimula ang kwento ko sa bandang umpisa ng 3rd year highschool 1st quarter, Coed school ang pinapasukan ko na pinamumugaran ng mga kalalakihan at kababaihan... Mas maraming babae kesa sa mga lalaki... Cguro ang ratio is 3 girls: 1 boy... Maraming potential na mging karelasyon bsta mgaling kang dumiskarte... Ufortunately ala pa aq msyadong karanasan pgdating sa mga babae... Nabasted dn kc aq nung 2nd year... Ung seating arrangement sa room namin ay boy,girl,boy... bsta ganun... Alternate ang babae at lalaki... Itatago ko ang pangalan ng aking katabing babae sa pangalang "Rapunzel" pero ang totoo niyang pangalan ay may kaugnayan sa isang instrumentong musikal. Bakit Rapunzel ang ipinangalan ko? Kasi mahaba at madulas ang kanyang buhok... Lampas bewang ang kanyang buhok... Kung tutuusin ay pwede siyang maging modelo ng shampoo dahil sa ganda ng kanyang buhok... Nabighani kaagad ako nung una ko siyang makita... Dahil CHOPE pa aq nung time na yun, hiyang hiya aq tuwing nalalapit ako sa kanya at nagiging CLUMSY aq... Ewan q b qng bkit... Parang ang hirap huminga pg kasama q xa at wala aq sa sarili q palagi... Minsan nkakapuslit ako ng silay sa kanya... Grabe nakakakilig!!! Kapag nahuhuli niya aqng tumitingin sa kanya ay agad kong iniiwas ang mata ko sa kanyang mga mata... Gustu q sanang pagmasdan ang kanyang mabibilog na mata kaso lang ay naCHOCHOPE p q... Bihirang bihira lang kaming mag-usap nung time na yun pero may isang insidente na nkapagpabago ng relasyon naming dalawa...

Ang lakas ng bagyo nun... Sinuspinde ang mga klase ng tanghali... Naiwan kami ni Rapunzel sa room dahil kami ang nakatalagang maglinis ng kwarto... Baha na nga sa labas ng paaralan namin dahil binabaha talaga ang paaralan namin... Naglinis kami ng naglinis... Wala kaming sinasabi sa isa't isa... Para bang hindi kami mgkasama sa isng kwarto... Halos lahat ng estudyante ay nakauwi na... Sa aming section, kami n lng ang naitra... Nagulat aq ng tinanong niya sa kin kung pwede ko dw ba siyang samahan sa may labas ng skul kc hihintayin niya ang papa niya at naiwan niya ang kanyang payong sa bahay niya... Ang cute pa ng boses niya! Sinabi ko sa kanya na mghintay muna kami ng ilang oras baka sakali kacng mawala ang baha sa paaralan... Pumayag naman siya... Ayun! Solongsolo ko xa! Haha... Di ko namalayan nung time na yun nag dadaMOVES n q! Hehe... Ayun ngusap kami tungkol sa aming sarili... Siya unang ngkwento... Tas ako ang sumunod... Nalaman namin na marami kaming similarities... Mahilig kaming matulog, magbasa ng pocket books, mg laro ng computer at mgbadminton... Mahilig din xang mg joke... Grabe... ang korny talaga niyang mg joke... Sounds rude pero yun ang totoo... Dami niyang alam na jokes... e.g. Cnung artista ang maraming teeth?E di si MaTEETH! Grbe ang pinapakita niyang kakornihan... Sa una pinipilit q lng 2mawa para d xa mapahiya pero habang tumatagal ang joking time eh untiunti kong naapreciate ang mga jokes niya, untiunti na qng natatawa nang hindi pilit... Mga hapon na ata nun ng mgpasya kaming lumabas n ng skul... La n kc pagasa na bumaba ang baha kaya lulusungin n lng namin kesa abutin kami ng dilim sa paaralan at mapagpiyestahan p kmi ng mga lamok... Nilusong namin ang baha... Hawakhawak ko ang payong habang siya ay nkakapit sa braso ko dahil takot siyang madulas at mapahiya... Kinikilig ako nung time na yun! Grabe talaga kaya binabagalan ko lakad ko para tumagal pa ang pgkapit niya sa braso ko... Umabot din naman kami sa labas at hinintay namin ang papa niya... Ang ganda ng scene na yun! Biglang umulan ulit at nilalamig kaming dalawa... Ayokong gumawa ng the MOVES(yakap... haha tigas mukha q) kasi baka makahalata kaya binigay ko n lng sa kanya yung jacket ko... Ngthank u naman siya at ngsmile ako... KiligZ! Cute niya! Parang nescafe na commercial yung scene! haha... Dumating na din ang papa niya at nagpaalam xa skin... Habang naglalakad sila ng papa niya palayo sa akin, muli aqng nabighani sa pagsayaw ng kanyang mahaba at magandang buhok at hindi ko maitago ang sayang nadama ko...

To be Continued...

2006-07-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

Part 3

Final chapter na! qng gustu niyong basahin, AYOS!... qng ayaw nyo... okay lng din

May tanong lng aq...
Cnu b ms gwapo?
Si Ethan Hunt o Si Achilles?
Si Tom Cruise o Si Brad Pitt?
Ba't ko tinanong? hehe... malalaman nyo din...

Nung part 2 kinwento q ung time na pumayag siyang mgpaligaw... so iyon nanliligaw na q... araw araw q xang tinatawagan sa phone... 2matawag aq pg umaga para masaya... kc madalas na ndi nasusundo ung 2log niya kaya mejo bad3p xa kpg umaga... pero kahit papaano nkakapagusap naman kami ng maayos... ewan b qng bkit pero gustung gusto qng naririnig/nakakita xang nababad3p... un cguro un hinahanap hanap q sa kanya...

Palagi din kaming naglalaro ng badminton together dhil gustung gusto namin mglaro ng badminton... kapag naglalaro kami, gusto qng humanga siya sakin... ngpapasikat talaga aq sa kanya... pinipilit qng mgimprove ang skills ko... hinahabol q ung shuttlecock kapag malayo sa akin ska ngiging aggressive talaga aq... binibigyan naman niya aq ng compliments tulad ng "Nice Game" o kaya naman "Sipag mo, pg pa2loy mo yan"... Cguro para sa inyo mababaw lng yon pero para sakin mga words un na pumapawi sa pagod q... Para sa akin reward un sa hard work na ginagawa q maimpress lamang xa...

Alang sumusundo sa kanya kpg umuuwi xa... so tinake ko ung opportunity na ihatid xa sa bahay niya... Ayaw niya mgpahatid dahil kaya naman daw niya ang sarili niya saka nahihiya daw xang mgpahatid... kinukulit q xa na ihatd q xa... pgkatapos niyang mgpakipot(hehehe) papayag dn naman xa sa huli(galing q talaga)... ngbebenefit dn naman aq sa paghahatd sa knya kc lalo png tumatagal ung oras na mgkasama kmi (hehehe the moves)...

Masasabi qng mabilis mgimprove ang relationship namin kc ngoopen-up na xa sakin... dami qng nalalaman sa kanya... mga secrets, problems tulad na lng na hiwalay parents niya... palagi dw xang alang kasama sa bahay kc ung mom niya bc sa work tas ung brother niya nsa US. Mejo similar kmi kc kpatid q lng n nkakabata ksama q sa bhay... ung parents q ska 2 q png sis nsa Saudi... paminsan minsan pumupunta ung tita q sa bhay upang asikasuhin kami... the point is pareho kaming bnibgyanng madaming responcbilities... ndi pa dn daw xa ngkakaroon ng bf(swerte pala qng aq mauna)... feel q mlapit n niya aqng sagutin

Ndi q alam na meron pang isa na nanliligaw sa kanya... nalaman q un one time kc may sumundo sa kanya na guy after na mgbadminton kmi(seriously gwapo ung guy pero gwapo dn naman aq)... d q alam qng anu gagawn nung time n un... feel q ngtaksil xa pero technically ndi naman... tinawagan niya aq sa phone ska ngsorry dahil d niya cnb na may isa pa xang manliligaw... nauna lng dw aqng manligaw ng isang linggo... iyon... hay... mahirap n nga lalo p qng mahihirapan... ngspy aq ng konti sa lalaki... tningnan q ung blog niya... friendster... bsta lhat makakuha lng aq ng info sa kanya... well... talagang gwapo xa... multitalented pa... varsity ng taekwondo kc... kinumapra q xa sa sarili q...

Ako:
- gwapo
- confident
- vertically challenged
- cute talaga

Isang guy:
- gwapo
- chickboy(dmi n nging gf)
- matalino(ayon sa sources)
- boy next door
- tall
- maputi
- mukhang maamo

So enuf comparison... isusummarize q n lng... pg kinompare m kmi sa isa't isa parang xa c BRAD PITT tas aq c TOM CRUISE(kapal q)... walang pakialamanan e sa gustu qng gnun ang comparison eh... sa totoo lng tagilid aq sa duelo ng mga gwapo... hehehe... seriously ngdadalawang icp aq qng 22loy q pa panliligaw o ndi na... natatakot talga aqng mabasted kc masakit mabasted... once n qng nabasted... ayoko ng mangyari skin ult un... sa bandang huli nilakasan q n lng loob q... d aq mgpapatalo sa kanya... taas kc cguro ng pride q kaya gnun... all or nothing na! naniniwala kc aq sa kasabihan na "fortune favors the brave"... Gustung gustu q talaga si Trizia na kahit alam qng malabo ang chance na aq ang piliin ni Trizia... Sa tingin q nung time na yun, milagro kung aq ang pipiliin niya... Ang tanging ngawa q lng nung time na un ay magtiwala sa sarili q...

Ayun... Mgfst4wrd tau ng onti... Pgkatapos ng ilang weeks ng panliiligaw, ininvite niya akong mgdinner dahil may important dw xang sasabihin sakin... kinutuban aq na babastedin niya ako pero I continued being optimistic... Cguro nung time na yun ayaw kong isipin ang mangyayari sakin kung babastedin niya ako, di pa ako ready eh... Habang kumakain kami may napansin ako sa kanya... Sobrang daldal niya ata nung time na yun... Dami niya kinukwento, kinikwento niya family niya, mga nkakatuwang experiences namin saka ngkwekwento din xa about sa other guy na karibal ko... Naweweirduhan aq kc d niya ugali ang mgtatalak dahil iyon ang gawain ko, tahimik kasi ang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya... Naweweirduhan dn ako dahil ang konti ng inorder niya saka d niya msyadong ginagalaw pgkain niya... D normal un kc kasing lakas siyang kumain ng typical na lalaki at may pgkamasiba(hehehe)...

Bgla n lng aqng nagulat nung nilipat niya ang topic... Nilipat niya ang topic 2ngkol sa relationship naming dalawa... Sinabi niya sakin na mahal niya yung isang guy dahil may hinahanap siya sa kanya na wala sa akin... Sinagot na niya daw ung guy nung isang araw... D na niya sinabi qng anu yung wala sa akin na meron dun sa isa... Sinabi din niya sakin na hnggang close friends lng nung time na un ang tingin niya sakin... Tumigil na siyang magsalita at that point... Nung time na yun biglang ngblangko ang utak ko... Ala aqng maisp... Kinuha q n ung bill at nglagay ng pera sa dun sa lagayan ng pera... Tatayo na sana aq para umalis nang hinawakan niya ung kamay q na tila ba pinipigilan ako... Umupo ulit ako at tinanong ko sa kanya kung bakit niya ako pinigilan... Ngsorry lng xa... Xempre no comment ako... Tinanong q xa kung pde q xang ihatid pero tumanggi xa... Susunduin dw xa ng BOYFRIEND niya... Ayun iniwan q xa dun at umuwi n ko sa bahay ko...

Naiinis talaga ako sa sarili ko... Umiinom ako ng beer hbang ngiisip... Galit na galit ako sa sarili ko... Galit na galit din ako sa kanya... D q mapigilan ang mga luha q... Sagwa siguro ng hitsura q nun... Parang naubos ang confidence ko... Feeling ko inapakapakan ang pride ko... Mapride kasi ako at ayokong natatalo... Habang nilulunod ko ang sarili a ng beer, ang daming tanong na pumapasok sa utak ko na d q masagot... Wasn't I good enough for her? Anu ba ang kulang sakin? Anu bang meron dun sa boy next door na wala sa akin? Bakit hindi niya ibinigay sa akin ang pagmamahal na inaasamasam ko? Bakit ang tangatanga q na kahit alam ko na slim ang chance para maging kami e tinuloy ko parin? Pero may biglang sumagi sa isip ko... Niligawan ko pala xa dahil mahal q xa... Hindi para mahalin din niya ako... Gusto ko lng ipadama sa kanya na mahal ko xa... Gnun lng... Naisip q nung time na yun na "Kung talagang mahal mo ang isang tao, kaya mo siyang mahalin na walang hinihin kapalit". Loving unconditionally kung ika nga... At that time mejo naliwanagan ako... Unti-unting tumigil ang pagluha ko... Unti-unting bumuti pakiramdam ko...

Db may tanong aq kanina sa umpisa na Cnu ms gwapo? C Tom Cruise ba o c Brad Pitt? Ang sagot ni Trizia ay si Brad Pitt… Pero para sakin c Tom Cruise! Xempre aq un eh! Hahaha! AYOS BA? Korny noh? Piz 2 all

END

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2006-07-08T03:06:00.000+08:00

well... it seems like u enjoyed my 2nd post... heres my 3rd... its bout my 2nd gf...

it started like this... remember in my 2nd post na di ako tinanggap sa school ng 1st gf ko... so i had to settle with one na kilala ng dad ko ang may ari ng school... naging honors class ako dun coz the school really isnt that challenging academically... and if u remember in my 1st post i said na im a natural flirt... so natural na naghanap ako ng crush doon... pero hanggang dun lang... may gf pa ako nun eh... di nagtagal kumalat kung cno ang gs2 ko... she was a cute chinita who is exceptionally smart...

naging groupmates kmi ng girl... it meant nothing 2 me pero ayos dba? i wil hav a chance 2 know her beter... social studies yung subject (yuck) but i tried my best to contribute... then she asked me if i could call her at home kc she will tell me daw wat i would need to bring 4 our presentation... so i did... dad pa niya ang nakasagot(yikes)... then nakausap ko xa... she also had a cute voice gaya ng gf ko at that time... she just told me to bring manila paper... so i said ok... just wen i was ready to put down the phone she asked me if yun lang ba ang tinawag ko sa kanya... para di mahalata that i like her i said yes... and i asked her what else would i call her for... she said wala lang daw... gs2 lang daw niyang mkipag usap... yahoo 4 me... pero kalma lang kc may gf pa ako... wa...

as time went by naging close kami... but di niya pa rin kilala kung cno ang crush ko sa class... it turned out to be such an issue pala.... everyone knew except her... so naging praning ako... i really didnt want her 2 know kc baka masira frndshp nmin... then one afternoon i saw her talking 2 her bestfriend... pag lapit ko bigla silang umalis... so i suspected something na... so pumunta ako apartment ng friend ko at naglabas ako ng sama ng loob... i smoked about 3 packs that afternoon... then di ko na nakaya... i called her up as soon as i got home... she noticed daw na medyo mainit ulo ko kanina so i told her na as if di nya alam ang reason... di pala tlaga nya alam... i told her it was about my crush... nagalit xa coz she knew na may gf na ako... sbi nya sabihin ko daw kng cno yung crush ko para pagsasabihan nya raw na tigilan na ako... i told her that it wud be quite imposible... she admitted na may gs2 din xa sa class and we would play a game 2 know each others crush... i would say a name and she would say if xa nga or hindi... pumayag ako since there were only 18 boys and 22 girls in our class... so natural na mauuna niyang masabi yung crush niya... then halfway sa game sumulpot dad niya... nagalit coz lagi nalang sw xang nagtetelebabad... so we had 2 hang up... di ko na natiis so i texted her d truth... she texted me 2 call agen so i did... i asked her if she was happy na ba... she asked ano yun? i said d truth... then i asked her kung cno sa knya... she said ako din daw... i was like waaat? u 4 real? it seemed like a perfect matchup... but whooops... may gf ako at may bf din xa... wa... palpak na naman... so we just continued bein friends...

then came the worst day of my life for me... pro diba every dark cloud has a silver lining... xa ung silver lining... wen she found out na la na kmi ng gf ko she broke up wid her bf... sama noh? but very sweet... para daw di ako maging lonely as a single person... everythin went fine excpt for one day... bigla xang naging indifferent sa akin... nabogla ako of corz... then she said the infamous 4 words... we have to talk... niligawan pala xa ng long time crush niya... at sinagot nya kaagad... i was shattered... ulit... and to think silver lining daw xa... sa sobrang pikon ko hinanap ko yung guy at naikipag sports sa kanya ( 1on1 na suntokan tpos parang walang nangyari)... boy it felt good... after that i never made contact wid her... mahirap kc classm8 ko xa pero i did what i had 2 do...

after a month lumapit mga barkada niya... she was having troubled wid her bf pala... it seems uneasy xa wid d guy... so i asked them kung anoa ng mggwa ko... they asked me if i was still willing to take her bak... i immediately said of corz... di nagtagal she called me if pwede ko ba raw xang samahan sa school... break na pala sila... i felt used pero ok lang... ganyan tlaga magmahal diba? so everythin went fine... more than fine actualy... i didnt expect 2 recover this fast even tho i could still remember d fuckin perfume of my ex...

then... graduation came... we had to part... pinilit ako ng parents ko 2 move to a beter school... at yun yung school ng ex ko... she said ok lang daw kc love can conquer distance daw... and i guess it was true... so my dismissal is 30mins earlier than her so pwede pa kaming magkita... it was very convenient kc may driver at car... but it would only last 30mins lang din coz she had 2 be home early... strict ang parents eh (chinese pipol tlga)...

it was ayt while it lasted... but my parents were still mad at me 4 leaving d school 4 scholars... so they blamed it all on my girl... kawawa xa... my mom abuses her kapag xa ang nkksagot wen she calls... so... i had no choice... her grades were also declining so i decided to stop it muna... my phone was also confiscated at that time... we were graduating that year so konteng tiis lang... after we graduate mgsasama na kmi sa mnila... but i was wrong agen...

you see... we promised each other na whatever happens kmi parin dapat ang magkakatuluyan... 2 bad she didnt keep her promise... i kept mine... well at least i was single wen we graduated... but not her... the grandson of the owner of her school courted her... altho a year younger yung guy sinagot pa rin nya... i found out wen binalik na yung phone ko... i ws so excited to text her... she was surprised of corz but she seemed not so enthusiastic... then inamin na nya... wa... ouch tlga...

then she came around... i did everythin i could to get her bak... at first she allowed me to text her but only as a friend... but i had other plans... in no time naagaw ko xa... timing din... we were both gona study in manila... woohoo... or so i thot...

pagdating sa manila she was bein so demanding... gs2 nya evryday ko xang ksma... eh biruin mo 1hr ang layo ng schools nmin... but i did my best... di nagtagal di ko na nakayanan ang attitude nya... she was too demanding and selosa... i broke up wid her shortly after our 2nd aniv... i felt so ashamed of myself... i felt so weak... but a lot of pipol suported me and i gez it was d ryt thing 2 do... i never heard from her 4 almost a year now... hope shes doin fine tho... coz i surely aint...

Just My Type(Part 2)

2006-07-07T22:31:00.000+08:00

Part 2 na! Who cares? I care!

Pagkatapos nung nakakakilig na scene sa part 1(para sakin nakakakilig na un), iniicp q na qng anu gagawn q kay Trizia... the truth is gustung gustu q na xa.... liligawan q kaya xa or kelangan maghintay muna aq para lalo pang mgdevelop ung friendship namin... natatakot din aq dahil bka may mauna sakin... Png iicpan q talagang mabuti kc i have 2 consider many things... In the end nilaksan q loob q... 2tal makapal nman mukha q at malaki possibility na sasagutin nya q kc GWAPO dw aq sabi ng mom q… hehehe (kapal)... So iyon one day ininvite q xa na manood ng movie sa mall (so typical)....casual na casual pagkakatanung q sa kanya... at first nagsusungit xa tas dami png tanung like "bakit tayong dalawa lng?" pero in the end pumayag din (pakipot pa papayag dn pala)... so iyon nagprepare talaga aq para sa gabing iyon... i have 2 make sure na di aq papalpak... ngprapraktis pa nga aq ng sasabihin eh just 2 make sure na iknow what to say kapag actual na...

Nasa mall na aq nghihintay sa kanya(d n nga aq mapakali at that time eh)... Sa wakes dumating n xa... Suot nya ata nun green na top tas nkashort tas nka cap... Ang cute cute cute niya nun promise!!!! Gustu q ngang asarin ng tomboy kaso bka magalit layasan pa q, so sinabi q n lang ang cute niya nung araw na un... Ngthanku naman xa(xempre kilig 2 d max aq)... Ngiting ngiti naman aq... Tas tinanong niya qng bakit daw aq ngumingiti sabi q "la lng"... on the way sa cnehan inaasar nya q ng kung anu anu, qng anuanung asar naririnig q pero ok lng un sakin sa icp q compliments un kaya nkangiti parin aq habang inaasar niya q... tinigilan dn aq kaya lng mejo nabad3p ata dahil ndi dw aq naasar... Mas lalo pa aqng ngumiti dahil ang Cute niya talaga pg nababad3p... Parang gustu q xang nakikitang nababad3p... So iyon nanood n kmi ng movie… Ung movie ni JoJo ung pinanood namin... Aquamarine ata title nun... Tahimik kaming nanonood pero aq tinitingnan q face niya kapag nagkakaroon ng chance(hehehe galing q talaga)... D q nga msyadong naintindihan ung movie eh dahil sa kasusulyap q sa kanya...

Nagu2m xa pagkatapos nung movie kaya un kumain kami sa Don Henricos(dun niya gus2 eh kaya la aq magagawa)... Lakas pala niya kumain ang pinagtataka q lng e bkt ndi xa chubby or mataba(2 pizza ska isang spaghetti w/meatballs ata kinain niya nun)... Natatawa aq habang kumakain xa pero para sa akin Cute na Cute parin xa at napakaganda, mejo kakaiba nga xa sa mga babae na nakilala q dahil mejo boyish xa... Pagkatapos naming kumain cnb q n talaga sa kanya na gustu q xa, na qng ok lng manligaw... Mejo nagulat xa at nag-icpicp... After a few minutes ok lng daw na manligaw aq tas tinanong niya sakin qng anu daw nakita q sa kanya kc madami daw tao na naiintimidate sa kanya dahil sa kanyang ugali... Cb q gustu q xa dahil nagandahan aq sa kanya, magaling xang magbadminton, nagustuhan q ung ugali niya tas nagus2han q ung pagiging "SASSY" niya... Actually para sakin me pagkakahawig siya kay SASSY girl(Kung napanood niyo yung My Sassy Girl kilala nyo xa)... Sa sinabi qng iyon napangiti q xa... At that time... Hrap iexplain ng feeling... Sobrang saya... I’m one step closer...

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2006-07-02T05:33:00.000+08:00

this post is bout my first love... i first met her at school... she was tall fair and surprisingly not a chinita... i have always liked chinitas but i fell for a girl who isnt one... she was more of spanish or some sort... im usually shy around girls that i really like... but i couldnt stand the idea of not even knowin her name... so i asked her name... then i asked my cuz to get her number for me a few days later... buti na lang nagrereply xa... pretty girls usualy dont reply eh...

then i asked if i could call her... there was a party at the house then pero mdyo bored ako... so yun... when she answered d phone napatulala ako... ang ganda ng voice nya... i was like whoop... then di tumagal i was calling her everynight... medyo na touch din ako coz if di ako maka call for even one night magtatampo xa... den sinabi nya na she fell in love wid my voice daw... what? voice lang? well... its a start...

then... after 10 months of talkin 2 each other every night she asked me if nanliligaw ba raw ako... i told her i guess so... after a month nag away kami ng kuya ko... he was so furious against me but i wasnt paying attention coz kausap ko xa... so he started yelling... she heard it so she insisted i settle it muna... i told her im gona call bak... i hang up den it began... my kuya cant punch me coz he knows im gona beat him up wid watever i get my hands on... so he insulted me nalang... bale wala lang sa akin so he atempted to insult her... that was it... di ko na matiis yun... i yelled bak and pulled out my knife... i yelled that if he insulted her again im gona make sisig out of him... so he bolted out of the room mumbling... wen i got the phone i noticed the light was still on... so it means di ko na hang up... malay ko ba... akala ko napindut ko yung tamang button eh... she was still on the other line... she heard the whole thing... wow... blessin in disguise... she told me that now she knew how much she meant to me... so sinagot niya ako...Ü

my life was perfect... i just graduated and i got into an exclusive highschool for scholars... my parents noticed im not pasaway anymore... and i have a perfect girl... or so i thought... dont get me wrong... she was mabait smart and pretty... and i loved her... too bad she didnt love me that much din... im a year older kc so nasa elem pa xa... at malayo mga skul nmin... at dun pa rin xa mag aaral sa same skul... so i thot it wud be beter if i gave up my scholarship so that we cud be 2geder in d same skul... but my parents simply wont allow that... so nagloko ako... naging sobrang pasaway uli ako... then i got what i wanted... na kick out ako... pero di ako tinanggap ng skul niya dahil di ako binigyan ng good moral certific8... so dun ako nag aral sa isang lesser skul na kilala ng dad ko ang may ari... she wold me it wudnt make a difference...

well... it did... i wanted to surprise her so i went to her skul widout tellin her... wen i arrived there my friends offered me to join their gang... they said they were goin to initiate someone so i could be initiated din... i passed coz i wanted 2 see her talaga... wen i got inside the skul i was instantly recognized by a classmate of mine in 3rd grade... i asked her to tell my gf dat i was here... she came bak tellin me dat she didnt know who i am... i was shattered... someone who didnt see me for about 4 years instantly recognizes me but my own gf doesnt... wtf is dat? so i went bak to my friends and asked of the offer was still open... the initiation was a 10second fight between me and 3 guys... when it started i didnt move an inch... so bugbog ako... one of the girls even shouted stop kc naaawa daw xa sa akin... it obviously didnt stop... it was the longest 10 seconds in my life...

she explained that she didnt know my name coz she wasnt expectin me at all... bullshit... but i still believed her... in my heart i know that only by bein patient can i give real love... den one day i saw my friend at the mall... i asked him wat he was up 2 den he said he was watchin a movie wid someone... so i said my greetings and even wished him luck wid d girl... pagkagabi nun she called me... she said di na raw nya kaya... she was seein someone else na daw... thank god shes honest noh? pak shit... at mas masakit pa... shes seein my friend who i saw at d mall... turns out sila pala ang manonood ng sine... waaah... i wanted 2 die... i lost my school... my parents trust... and her...

after a year i was able to study in her skul... she called me up after the first week of classes... she was surprised i returned... para daw xang nakakita ng multo... and she asked me a favor... wag ko daw sana bugbugin ang bf nya... she knew me too well... that was my hidden agenda... well... not anymore... and i got over her na din... by that time may bagong gf na ako... but somethin unexpected happend...

her bf went to singapore to represent the skul... she unexpectedly called me up... at first casual talk lang... but as time went by our love was rekindled... timing kc la na ulit akong gf nun... it turned out na they were havin problems pala... he was always finding faults in her and yelling at her daw... and to think lampas 1yr na sila nun... i was infuriated... but she still begged for me not to do anythin... then she asked if she cud go to my haus... i gladly said yes... nakapambahay lang xa but she was still very pretty... we wer only supposed to watch tv lang but somethin happend... i still couldnt 4get that moment... it was like heaven... but it was temporary... babalik na bf nya pagkabukas nun... well... good things never last...

right now im at the same skul as her na naman... we havent talked that much but i dont know... i could still remember the scent of her perfume on our first date... bago na naman ang bf niya... but i hope she didnt forget my love for her... my very first love...

Just My Type (Part 1)

2006-07-01T11:21:00.000+08:00

Well, here's my story. It's summer. Dyahe! Lang magawa! So nagdecide aq na mgsports clinic na lng sa sports that i loved badminton. Excited aq dahil kapag nagbadminton clinic ka dun sa center na yun, isasali ka nila sa tournaments ska xempre malaki ang chance na magkakaroon ka ng madaming friends.

First day ng class. Introduction lang naman. Binigyan kami ng time para makilala mga kasama namin. May mga araw na confident aq, may mga araw dn na shy aq. That day, confident na confident ako (yeahba!). Bale nine kaming magbabdminton. Madami aq nakilala mga seven people un. Mababait naman sila (bute naman). Pero may napansin akong isang girl. Mukha siyang maangas at intimidating kahit hindi naman siya matangkad. Pero para sa akin, napakaCUTE niya!!! Grabe! Ang cute niya talaga! Ang cute niyang SUMIMANGOT! Sabi ko sa sarili ko "She's just my type"(hehehe). Pero siya lang ang hindi ko kinausap nung araw na yun. Next session nagkaroon kami ng levelling. Ung levelling ay isang match na ginagawa para malaman ng coach ung skills mo. Dahil late kaming dalawa nung cute na masungit na girl, kaming dalawa ung naglaban. May experience aq sa badminton kaya nilamangan q xa. 13-7 ata score nun(basta malaki lamang q), sobrang confident n ako! Tas ung maangas pero cute na girl mukhang bad3p na bad3p na(ang cute niyang mabad3p)! Mejo ndi n q mkafocus sa game dahil sa mukha niya lang ako nkatingin. Nung time na un tinira ko ung shuttlecock mahina na tas mataas pa ung pagkakatira q! Ginamit niya ung opportunity para magsmash! Ang bilis ng pagdating sakin nung bola. Kaya iton, tinamaan ako ng shuttlecock sa mukha(Shit! kakahiya!). Doon q siya nakitang tumawa. Nagsorry siya pero hindi niya maitago ang pagtawa niya. Ako naman hiyang-hiya sa sarili q. In the end natalo aq 17-16. Pagkatapos ng game. Inapproach niya aq, (shit naman oh, pagtatawanan ata aq ni2 eh) sabi niya "sori sa nangyari kanina, d q naman sinasadyang tamaan ka". Sabi q ok lng. Tas nagtanungan kami ng name(Trizia name niya). Tas 2mawa siya at biglang nagmayabang. Iyon, dun nagsimula ang friendship namin.

As days passed, naging close na close kami dahil sa text, phone calls saka playing with each other. D q pa cnasabi na gustu q xa dahil la pa aq planong sabihin. Madami kaming similarities. Mahilig kami sa books saka computer. Ayon sa kanya, kaya siya nag-aangas dahil astig daw maangas. May mga times na feminine ang ugali niya pero mas madalas maangas siya(just my type, hehehe). Dumating ung time nagdecide n ung coach qng sasali kami sa single's or sa double's. D q maexplain qng gaano ako kasaya ng masama aq sa mixed competition tas si Trizia pa kakampi q!(San ka pa!). Gustu qng manlibre nun! Ako na ata pinakamaswerteng, pinakagwapong lalaki sa balat ng lupa nung time na un!!!! SHIT talaga!!!!! Simula nun sineryoso q talaga badminton para ndi naman aq mapahiya sa kanya!

Tournament time na! Sa may cubao ung venue. Focused na focused talaga aq. Meron kcng four rounds un. Pg nalampasan m un ng walang talo, pasok ka sa finals, pg natalo kayo, tanggal na kagad kau. Unfortunately, natalo kami sa fourth round. Sinisi talaga ni Trizia ang sarili niya. Ang tanga tanga daw niya. Dun q xa nakitang umiyak. Parang iba xa sa Trizia na maangas na nakilala q pero cute din xa kahit umiiyak. Sa 2too lng awang-awa aq sa knya. D q alam qng panu siya icocomfort. Inakbayan q n lng xa ska hinatid sa bahay niya. 2loy parin ang pag-iyak niya at pagsisi sa sarili niya habang nasa daan kami. Pgdating naming sa bahay nila, ngthank you xa sakin dahil nakinig daw aq sa kanya. Sa loob-loob q, bte n lng natalo kami, qng ndi, d mngyayari 2.

To be continued...

Start of something? mwahaha!

2006-07-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

It was another ordinary day at school. Lamog sa studies, puyat lahat as usual, pero saya naman hahaha. During lunch break namin, meron ako napansin babae, naka brown business blouse siya and pink skirt. Kinis ng muka at maypagka chinita mistiza(one of my favorite types btw hahaha).. So yun, napansin ko siya so nawow ako..so after naman lunch class ulet, pero isa lang.. after PE wala na ako class.

Edi naglakad-lakad lang ako muna at tumambay sa may ALB fountain. E yun, out of no where, nakita ko nanaman siya!!! Nakatunganga lang ako sa kagandahan niya.. Nung dumaan siya...hai... nakakakilig :P Dahil dun, nagutom tuloy ako kaya pumunta naman ako sa canteen.

After the quick snack. Balak ko na umuwi sa bahay.. Naglakad ako papuntang CAS garden, kasi meron pa ako kukunin book sa library. Nung nasa garden na ako, guess what??? NANDUN DIN SIYA!!!! Napapatulala niya nanaman ako sa kanya presense..grabe TALAGA! Is this the start of something???? hahaha :D

Sana makikilala ko pa ang napagandang niyang mukha next time we meet hehehehe...WOO HOO!!!!

Another great reason to stay in UAP hahahaha...(joke)...

EM Guy

2006-06-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Grabe talaga kahapon! Nasa debut kasi ako nun. Nang pumasok na ako sa venue, kinausap ako ng mom ng debutant.. sabi niya..

tita:"diba uap ka?"
me:"yes tita"
tita:"my frnd c aian na tga dun"
me:"oh? ano po yr?"
tita:"1st y."
me:"ah. di ko po cguro kilala un."

tapos dumating ung friend na taga uap... pinakilala siya sa akin ng debutant.. grabe! ang cute niya! may itsura siya! 18 roses pala siya..

me:"uap ka rin pla. wat yr?"
him:"1st yr. u?"
me:"2nd yr."
him:"ah. so higher batch kita."
me:"oo. hehe. wat course?"
him:"em"
me:"oh?! tlga? hirap em ah."
him:"hindi nmn. halos walang gngwa. hehe."
me:"hehe
him:"ok. cge. bye!"
me:"*kiligz!!!*"

wahh! grabe! ang weird.. hindi ko na maalala mukha niya tsaka ung name niya... so hindi ko siya makikilala sa school.. sayang.. :(
Anong klaseng love un?! kung love man un...
bakit ba ganun ang buhay!!!!

maling akala

2006-06-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

nung grade 4 pa tyo
nakilala kta s church nung first communion.
nsa harap kita.
lagi mo ko kinakausap nung time na un.
lagi rin kta kinakausap kc ang kulit mo.
pro naapreciate ko ung pagiging makulit mo.

ang pinaka pinaka di ko makalimutan sa buong buhay ay ung day na ngtest ako sa ust. grabe! unexpected.

entrance exam sa ust(1st batch).
pumunta ako with my friends.
tpos lahat ng mga schoolmates ko s ibang rum. lahat cla my ksma kilala s rum.

ako? wala! grabe! wla akong kilala sa testing rum ko. badtrip! wala tuloy ako makausap.

ang gnwa ko. nakaharap ako s door. nghihintay na baka sakali may skulm8 ako kasabay mgtetest s rum.
aftr few minutes...
my isang tall, thin, handsome guy nag open ng door. tinitigan ko kc parang kilala ko(hindi dahil gwapo cya). iniisip ko na "kaw ba si ...?" o bka nmn hindi.
di ko nmn makausap at tanungin ung guy kc nakakahiya kng ibang tao un.
ang gnwa ko hinintay ko n lng announce ung mga names. his surname nmn kc starts with letter B kaya ok lng hintayin kng tatawagin name nya.
cge... hintay... hintay... dame kc pangalan. hintay... OMG!!! cya nga! hahaha... totoo ba to?! nanaginip lng yta ako. hehe...
its him! its him! OMG! pano ngyari toh?! wah!!! di ako makapaniwala! hehe... di ko alam na parehas kmi ng testing day, ng time, building at ng RUM.

DESTINY ba to PARE? hehehe...
di nmn cguro coincidence lng.

grabe! wow! ang galing! kc wala nmn kmi communication nung lalaking un. tps ngyari un. nunexpected. wah! di tlga ako makapaniwala until now.

kso ang masama dun.
u didn't even grit me.
u didn't even say hi or hello.
grabe ka nmn. parang di tyo mgkakilala.
parang di tyo naging clasm8s.
tska parang di ka rin ngka crush s kin. puppy love lng kc un. mtlgal n kc un day na ngkacrush ka skin at sympre ako syo.

ano pa ba magagawa ko? matagal na un.

nung summer ininvite ako na sumama s mga youth na ssyaw s fiesta. oo na lng ako kc wla nmn ako gngwang iba.
nung mga unang araw ng practice wala ako kc marami ako gngwa s skul. nag aayos ako ng mga requirements.
tpos nung first day ko s practice... ksama ka pla. di ko alam. iniisip ko kaw magiging partner ko. hindi pla. hehe... tangkad mo kc.
so nipair ka sa isang girl na tall din at mas bagay syo.
so ayun. praktis, praktis... tpos dumating s part na mag eexchange partners. i wasnt really epxecting na kaw magiging partner ko s part na un.
ung kamay mo n nsa likod ko nararamdaman ko. mdyo madiin kc. tinatanong ko partner mo kng ganun ka. ganun ka daw tlga. hay...
nung nag aayos p lng ng exchange partners, humirit ako kay sir.

me:"sir ang tangkad nmn ng partner ko!"
---para hindi halata na masaya ako sa ngyari. hehehe... pasimple effect. haha.

ikaw tumawa ka lng s cnbi ko.

pinapraktis n ntin ung steps for that part, ngkakamali tyo minsan. hehe... tawa lng tyo ng tawa s mistakes ntin.

tpos un. nung fiesta na. ushers and usheretes tyo. tpos cympre my times na wala tyo gngwa. nagpapaka ewan n lng ako s sobrang inip. tpos kaw nkatingin s kin. tumatawa. hehe... sori ha nkakainip e.

tpos nung november, my namit ako fortune teller. sbi nya ung guy ko daw matangkad, matangos ilong, at payat daw. hmmm... cno nmn kya un? wala nmn ako maisip na guy. filing ko kapatid ko hula nya kaw un. ako.. walang maisip. hehe. kng cno man cya. sana maging masaya ako s kanya at cya s kin.
pero parang ikaw e. hehe... (pinilit tlga) hehe...

pero hindi na tlga pwd kaw. kc ngyn c god na pinili mo. ok lng s kin. wat can i do? u answered his call. tska npaka religuos ng fam mo. lalo na mom mo.
kng ano man piliin mo... suportanta ka.

Who needs love???

2006-06-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

Napaisip ako nung isang araw... Bakit nga ba kelangan love??? Maraming reasons siya, pero ang dami din loop hole ung mga good reason. well anyways, eto ung defense ko kung bakit di kelangan ng love..1.Love is only temporary: tingnan niyo, maraming mga bf/gf nagsasabi, i love you forever.. pero forever nga ba? Baka maya yan bf/gf mo nagcheat o ayaw na sayo nagbreak (see). Parang lang siya drug; masaya sa umpisa, pero sasakit din yan...2.Love only chooses those who will be loved, and those who will not: Totoo naman a, marami ka nakikita mga nag-aasa pero wala din..Single FOREVER!!! 3.Daming bawal: "Bawal maging kayo kasi iba religion, di siya chinese , etc..."marami pa ako reasons pero tigil na lang muna ako...this is just a taste...EVIL ko talaga ngayon! Bwahahahaha!!!!

Para sa mga nagaalangan na ipahiwatig ang kanyang nararamdaman

2006-06-24T00:51:00.000+08:00

"Huwag na lang kaya"

by True Faith

Nais ko ay magpakilala sa iyo
at ipahiwatig ang nilalaman ng puso ko
mauunawaan mo kaya
o baka sampalin mo lang ang aking mukha
nagdadal’wang isip

huwag na lang kaya
huwag na lang kaya

Nais ko ay ialay sa iyo
ang puso ko na umiibig sa iyo
ngunit di mo na yata kailangan ng ganyan
meron ka na yatang kasintahan
naninikip ang tiyan

huwag na lang kaya
huwag na lang kaya

ngunit di mo na yata kailangan ng ganyan
meron ka na yatang kasintahan
naninikip ang tiyan

Huwag na lang kaya
huwag na lang kaya
huwag na lang
huwag na lang
huwag na lang kaya

To all who are living their loneliness

2006-06-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

To all who are living in their loneliness...

"Where'd You Go?"

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

No More Chemistry!

2006-06-23T16:54:00.000+08:00

new student pa lang ako rito. wala talaga akong kilala sa mga classmates ko. pero first week pa lang, naging komportable na ako. naging interesado ako sa isa kong classmate na girl. halos hindi ako kumakausap ng mga babae nang time na un. sobrang mahiyain kasi ako. kapag kinausap ako ng babae, halos wala akong nasasabi sa kaba. nakakahiya talaga. hindi naman ako galing sa exclusive school for boys pero bakit ganun!
-----
habang tumagal, inaasar na nila ako sa girl na un at inaasar din siya sa akin. hindi ko nanaman ulit alam kung bakit. kungwari nagagalit ako kapag inaasar nila ako, pero ewan pa rin. masaya ako sa loob pero ayoko lang ipakita. may mga times na iniiwan nila kaming dalawa sa classroom tapos hinaharangan niyo ung door para hindi kami makalabas. hindi ko talaga alam ang gagawin ko nung nangyari un. medyo nabadtrip ako nun. ewan ko ba kung bakit. ang labo talaga!
----
kapag may group work sa class, gustong gusto ko na maging groupmate siya. naiinis ako kapag hindi kami magkagroup! pero naging masaya ako nung kaming 2 ang napili para sa quizbee. wala na akong mahihingi pang iba. haha! medyo active din kaming dalawa sa sports kaya ayun. mahilig kaming maglaro ng softball nung time na yun. so naging masaya naman itong school year na ito.
-----
next school year... classmates pa rin kami! pero parang nagfafade away na. kahit na parati kaming magkagroup at naguusap, parang nawala nalang ung chemistry sa aming dalawa. naging masmarami ang times na magkasama kami pero parang wala lang. hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ganun. dati.. sobrang onti ng opportunities na makasama ko siya. yun lang talaga ang gusto ko mangyari dati. pero ngayon... sorang dami na ng opportunities.. pero nawawala na talaga. parang wala na akong nararamdaman. bakit ba ganun ang buhay? baka hindi talaga ako para sa iyo.. wahahaha!

Weird Series of Events (Part 2)

2006-06-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

Now.. sobrang naging close tayo. Parati na rin tayo naguusap sa phone. Walang araw na hindi mo ako tinawagan. Pero minsan, lumalabas rin tayo para maglakwatsa kapag wala talagang magawa. Kapag nakakasalubong kita sa school, nagssmile tayo sa isat isa. Tapos minsan, sabay tayo kumain sa canteen kapag lunch time. So ang dami nang kumakalat na mga tsismis tungkol sa atin dalawa. Pero hinayaan nalang natin sila. haha!

Tapos nung birthday mo.. ininvite mo ako sa house mo. Punta agad ako! Pero nakakahiya talaga dahil wala akong kilala. Hiyang hiya talaga ako nung time na un. Puro relatives mo at friends mo. Pero ok lang dahil mabait naman sila. Medyo feel at home na rin ako nung time na un. Tapos nagspin the bottle pa tayong lahat nun. Medyo naging kaklose ko narin ung mga friends mo dahil lang dun. Tapos picture picture nga pala! saya! haha

Tapos one day.. inoperahan ako sa kamay. May tumutubo kasi na ewan sa 2 kong kamay. Kadiri sobra! nakabalot na sa cloth pero bumabakat parin ung dugo. Nagooze parin palabas. Sobrang kadiri talaga. Naglalakad ako sa labas.. pauwi na ako nun. Bigla kitang nakita.. pinakita ko sayo ung mga kamay ko at agad kang tumakbo! hahahaha! kadiri kasi dahil ang lagkit ng dugo ko nun. tawang tawa talaga ako nung tumakbo ka. hahaha! umuwi na rin ako after nun. hehe

Naalala ko rin dati.. nagbabasketball kami ng classmates ko. Alam ko may klase kayo, pero na sa labas ka lang para panoorin ako. Grabe ka naman! mahiya ka naman sa teacher mo! hahaha! nandun ka lang kasi sa tabi ng door ng classroom niyo. Ang tagal namin naglaro nun.. Nandun na ung teacher sa room namin, naglalaro pa rin kami sa labas. Biglang nakita namin, nagqquiz na pala sila. So tumakbo kami sa room! Mga baliw nga mga kaklase ko e. Hinubad ba naman ung shirt nila pagpasok nila sa room. Tapos sumigaw sigaw pa sila! ang init ng ulo ng teacher namin. Pinapunta kami sa faculty at pinagalitan kami. Medyo natatawa nga ako nun e. haha!

Ayun.... Tapos naging prom date pala kita! wow! actually, wala akong plano magbigay sayo ng flowers.. Pero ang kulit ng mom ko. Bumili siya ng maraming roses para raw may maibigay ako sayo. Nakakahiya talaga yun! Parang ung binigay ko sayo ung pinakamalaki sa lahat. haha! pero ayus lang. Nung kailangan na magdance.. Ikaw agad ung sinayaw ko.. mga 20 minutes tayo sumayaw. wahh!!! kakapagod... ayun.. mula nung araw na un.. sobrang close na natin sa isat isa.. kaya na conclude ko na.. kahit na gano kaweird ung tao, o kahit ayaw na ayaw mo siya.. once na makilala mo siya.. mapapansin mo na ibang iba pala siya. Makakalimutan mo agad ung una mong pagtingin sa kanya.. Magugustuhan mo siya kahit na sino siya.. ayun lang masasbi ko..

The End

bwisit

2006-06-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

simula ng nangyari yun, ayoko na. naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko kung bat ko pa sinubukan tapos wala rin pala. ewan ko. basta ayoko na. simpleng kahilingan pero wala e, hindi lang man pinagbigyan.. im really disappointed when that happened, bahala ka na, bahala na rin ako.. kung magalit edi magalit.. i dont care anymore.. i will just continue my life and always be happy.. kasi hindi ako ganito.. ayokong nagiging ganito ako.. ayaw na ayaw kong magalit.. gusto ko lagi akong masaya.. kaya kakalimutan ko na.. just like nothing happened.. (mga nagmamahal dyan isip muna bago kumilos, wag lang basta gawin ang nararamdaman, use you mind para hindi kayo matulad sa akin na maiinis at mabwibwisit lang sa sarili pagdating sa huli).... comment kayo...

Is This Me?

2006-06-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

i can't remember when... but... i still know why... why i really liked you... it just seemed like yesterday... i always had to go to school early just to see you... i still remember the times when we call each other by weird names. whenever you hate what i call you, you would chase me around the school campus and hit me! ouch! i also remembered when i tried to make you trip using my foot. it didn't work anyway because you stepped on my foot!!! it ached for hours! i really can't forget what happened because of the pain! i learned my lesson anyway.

there was a time when our teacher was absent. we usually catch crabs at the canal beside our classroom (disgusting!!! i really can't imagine myself doing this!). you love to collect crabs and put them inside a plastic cup. So all i did was catch as many crabs and give them all to you. I really want to forget about the canal thing but i can't!

both of us loved to play jack stone, chinese jack stone (the things that look like pillows), and chinese garter. i always love it when both of us play these games together. i also remember the time when we play dodge ball. i remember the ball landing on my face. we usually play this game after dismissal because it's very tiring. i sweat a lot whenever i play games that involve running and dodging. i always make my driver wait for me because i'm always with you. even if our dismissal is 3:00 pm, we choose to stay up to 4:00 pm.

two years have passed.. i had to transfer... so sad because i can't see you anymore. i had to go to another school because of a personal reason. i really felt sad because it seemed that we will never see each other again. but now.. thanks to friendster! i saw you! man! you are soooo different! you are very pretty! a lot better than before! i don't know what to say. but the sad thing is.. i don't like you anymore..... :(

Flashback!

2006-06-22T22:17:00.000+08:00

wala akong magawa ngayon. medyo inaantok na rin ako pero tinatamad ako matulog. habang hindi pa ako nakakatulog kung ano ano ang mga pinagiisip ko ngayon. naalala ulit kita! ikaw na lang parati ang pumapasok sa isip ko tuwing wala akong magawa. bakit nga ba? bahala na lang.. pero ganun lang talaga kapag gusto mo ang isang tao.

naalala ko pa yung araw na tinawagan mo ako sa phone. kakaiba yung naramdaman ko. halos hindi ako makasalita sa tuwa dahil lang sa isang phone call. nakakahiya nga e, halos wala kasi akong nasabi. may tinanong ka lang pala about something na hindi ko na maalala ngayon. medyo mahina memory ko. sorry! naalala ko ung time na may suot kang cap. ang cute cute mo kasi! lalo na kapag nakikita ko pictures mo. wow talaga! parati ko nalang tinititigan kapag wala rin akong magawa.

naalala ko ung time na.. naglakwatsa tayo kasama ang isa nating friend. kinakabahan talaga ako. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. baka dahil hindi ko lang alam ang sasabihin ko sayo kapag nagkita na tayo sa mall. pero naging ok naman ang lahat nang magkita tayo. ang cute ng suot mo nun! blue pa suot mo nung time na un! hanggang ngayon natatandaan ko pa! wow! tapos naalala ko pa ung time na un. ung pauwi na tayo. Nang nahatid na kita, pagbalik ko, muntik na ako mabundol ng truck! grabe ung feeling na un! medyo natakot na akong tumawid after mangyari yon.

tapos isang araw.. nakita ko sa chair ko.. nakalagay ung names natin. butch loves (name mo). wahh! hindi ko un pinakita sayo. nakakahiya talaga un! agad na tinanggal ko. sino kaya ang naglagay nun? ang sama naman ng tao na un. pero sa loob loob ko.. kinikilig ako. ang labo nga e! hindi ko nanaman alam kung bakit! napaisip din ako.. bakit ba ganito ang nararamdaman ko. well.. ganun lang talaga siguro ang buhay. hindi mo maintindihan! sobrang adik ko na sayo!

hanggang dun nalang siguro kuwento ko.. saan ka na kaya ngayon? sana ok ka lang. sana buhay ka pa! sana masaya ka! wala na talaga akong balita sayo e. o sige.. pumipikit na mata ko. kailangan ko na ata talaga matulog. sana mapanaginipan nalang kita. good night!

2006-06-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

Before I let You Go
Freestyle

I could still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you love me made me
Feel oh so right
But now I feel lost
Don't know what to do
Each and everyday I think of you
Holding back the tears
I'm trying with all my might

Refrain 1:
Because you've gone and left me standing
All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own
But baby

CHORUS:
before I let you go I want to say
I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true, baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah

So before I let you go I want to say
I love you...hmmm...

I wish that I could be just
Like before
I know I could have given you so
Much more
Even though you know
I've given u all my love
I miss your smile; I miss your kiss
Each and everyday I reminisce
Coz baby it's you that I'm always
Dreaming of

Refrain 2:
Because you've gone and left me standing
All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on My own
But baby

CHORUS:
before I let you go I want to say
I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true, baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah

So before I let you go I want to say, yeah

Bridge:
Coz Letting you go is never easy
But I love you so
That's why I'll set you free, yeah
But I know, someday, somehow,
I'll find the way
To leave them all behind me
Guess it wasn't meant to be but baby...

CHORUS:
before I let you go I want to say
I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true, baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah

So before I let you go I want to say..
So before I let you go I want to say...
I love you

...

2006-05-30T14:24:00.000+08:00

ei... im really glad that this blog has been created... i probably dont deserve to post anythin here coz di na ako blok it... but i still wana be a part of our blok... well... from what i understand this blog is dedicated to all our love stories... but i think that my whole love life is too much to be told in one sitting... so im gona separate it in different posts... well... to start with... i gez i shud introduce myself... i consider my greatest achievement in life is having been able to make someone i love to love me back... i believe that it is more important than bein a valedectorian or bein the most popular kid... i have had a couple of serious relationships... and when i say serious it means we talk about gettin married and stuff... but i also have countless flings and crushes... i am a flirt by nature... when i enter a room the first thing i do is to check for cute girls... thats what keeps me from gettin bored in any situation... i had my first crush when i was in kindergarten... i can still remember her name and adress up until now... thats how i love someone... i pour everythin into it... i dont know if its the ryt thing to do but what the hell... heart over mind is how i run my life... and its been pretty rough... well... til next tym... peace out homies... god bless and yall take care...

Day 1

2006-05-27T19:23:00.000+08:00

Grabe talaga tong araw. Ang daming kakaibang nangyari! Natakot talaga ako dahil sa mga pangyayaring nakakamatay. 2 am ako gumising kasi kailangan ko na pumunta sa airport. 5 am kasi ung flight ko. mga 3:45 kami nagkita ni Butch sa departure area sa NAIA 2. Handang handa na kami pumunta sa davao para magadventure. so nabigay ko na gamit ko sa bagage terminal. Tapos inintay ko naman si Butch kasi chance flight siya. May chance na hindi niya ako makasama sa flight ko. So ayun nga, sinamahan ko siya sa pila niya. Tapos badtrip talaga! puno na ung plane. hindi siya nakasakay! tapos after a few minutes, tinawag pangalan ko sa airport. LAST CALL na raw ako! ako nalang ata ung wala sa plane. So tumakbo ako! kakahiya talaga! nakaupo na ang mga tao sa plane. Dun pa ako sa may likod umupo. Haba pa naman ng plane ng PAL. haayy! Nung nasa plane na ako, natulog lang ako. Nagising para kumain tapos natulog ulit. Nagising ulit ako nung nagland ung plane.

Pagbaba ko ng plane, hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko. Magisa lang ako sa mindanao. Pinapaligiran ako ng bundok at mag puno. wala pa akong kilala kasi wala pa si Drew. So tumambay lang ako sa isang restau. kinaibigan ko na ung owner at ung mga tao. Ang babait talaga ng mga tao sa davao. Nakakapanibago! Tapos ayun. Hindi pa nakasakay si Drew sa next flight. Maskinabahan ako!!!! 2 flight nalang tapos wala na!!!! hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko kapag hindi nakasakay si Drew! wala na akong matitirahan kung ganun! kinakabahan talaga ako! tapos nung malapit na ung 3rd flight papuntang davao... hindi nanaman siya nakasakay! 1 pm na! wala parin! ilang oras na ako nagiintay. Kung sino sino na kinakaibigan ko dito. Tapos nakatulog din ako kahit papaano. Pero nahirapan ako dahil kinakabahan talaga ako! Buti ang bait ng owner ng restaurant at pinaintay nalang ako sa loob. Tapos ayun, 4 pm na... nagtext si Drew.. sabi niya "celebrate!!! nakasakay ako!". Sobrang narelieve ako! grabe talaga un! buti nakasakay pa siya sa last flight!!! kung hindi... Naiwan na ako sa davao! wala pa naman akong alam sa davao! pero grabe parin! 11 hrs ako nagintay!! test of patience talaga un!

Ayun... so sinundo na kami ng dad niya at pumunta sa js gaisano mall. May napansin ako sa davao.. ANG GAGANDA NG MGA BABAE!!! walang sinabai mga babae sa manila! seryoso 'to! wala lang.. hahaha! tapos kumain kami.. naka 1/2 chicken ako! wahh! wala lang... tapos after nun.. pumunta kami sa MTS, ung parang Eastwood ng davao. Dun kami sa cafe na Blugre ang pangalan. Tapos inintay namin si Edge. Dun kami nagkita. Tapos sumabay kami sa kanya papunta sa bahay niya. Dun kami sa likod ng pickup niya. Ang bilis at ang lakas ng hangin! nakakamatay! hahahaha! ayun.. nang makarating kami sa bahay ni edge.. woahh! mansion!!! gawa sa glass karamihan ng gamit! pati sink sa cr. glass lahat hanggang gripo! hahahaha! kakaiba talaga buhay ni Edge dito. Kuwentuhan kami about some stuff. Siyempre hindi mawawala ang topic about sa lovelife. hahahaha! wala lang.. Tapos dinala kami sa taas ng area nila. Nakita namin ang buong davao kapag gabi. Grabe! walang masabi Manila! hahahaha! Ayun.. so after nun. hinatid na kami ni Edge sa bahay ng dad ni Drew. Dun kami natulog. Pagod na pagod talaga kami! hahaha!

To be continued...
(9 days to go!)

Frustration and Insanity

2006-05-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

WAAAHHH!!! ewan ko na talaga!!! Alam ko naman hindi na pwede talaga pero ano ngyari??? ganito pa rin! nagwawala puso ko sayo...lobot talaga!!! lobot!!! Pinipilit ko sarili ko na "LET IT GO" pero pag nakikita ko ang mga pictures mo online bumabalik..bumabalik lahat!!! ANU BA KASI!!!! hindi naman pwede sisihin ikaw kasi wala ka naman ginawa!!!! lobot talaga!!!

siguro kelangan ko pa ng oras...matagal pa talaga ata eto mawawala talaga...lobot...kelangan ko talga mawala tong feelings ko sayo para maging ayos na lahat... Ayoko ko din na malalayo ako sayo dahil dito...sana talaga maayos ko na toh..

2006-05-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

sa mga tao naghahanap pa...(pati na din ako hahaha =P)

Where Are You-Ft J. Roman
by Soluna

[J. Roman]
there's someone out there for me,
I know she's waiting so patiently,
can you tell me her name?
this life long search is gonna drive me insane
How does she laugh how does she cry,
what's the color of her eyes,
does she even realize, I'm here
where is she, where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,
where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,

la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[Soluna]
I'm staring out at the sky,
praying that he will walk in my life,
where is the man of my dreams? yeah yea
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems,
how does he laugh how does he cry,
what's the color of his eyes,
does he even realize, I'm here
where is he, where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high,
where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high

[J.Roman [Soluna]]
there's someone out there for me[there's someone out there for me],
I know she's waiting so patiently[so patient],
can you tell me her name[can you tell me his name],
this life long search is gonna drive me insane,

[Soluna]
how does he laugh, how does he cry,
what's the color of his eyes,
does he even realize, I'm here

[J. Roman]
where is she, where is she, where is she,
where is this beautiful girl,
who is she, who is she,
who's gonna complete my world,

[Soluna]
where is he, where is he,
where is this beautiful guy,
who is he, who is he,
who's gonna take me so high,

[Together]
la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[J.Roman: I kno you're out there]
la da da da da da da, la da da da da, la da da da da da da

[J. Roman: where are you, I've been lookin all over the world baby,
cuz I know you're out there, and I know it might sound crazy,
but i think I love you..]

la da da da da da da

Weird Series of Events (Part 1)

2006-05-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

At the first day we met, I didn't like you at all. Hindi ko talaga makakalimutan ung araw na yun. Nanood pa nga tayo ng movie nun e. Bat ba tayo nanood? ahh.. may group outing kasi. Pero onti lang tayong pumunta. At first time pa kita makita noon. Hindi talaga ako komportable nung nakasama kita. Ang tahimik mo nun grabe. Kala hindi ko alam kung pano kita kakausapin. But still.. I tried to talk to you. Ang tipid mo magsalita. Nagmukha tuloy akong sira sa harap mo. Wala lang. So nung natapos na ung movie, kumain tayo. Ang tahimik mo parin! Bat ka ba ganun! Nagkataon na naiwan nalang tayong dalawa.. so naglibot nalang tayo. Sa wakas! Kinausap mo na ako ng matino. Nashock talaga ako nang kausapin mo ako. Pero kung ano ano nalang ung mga tinanong mo. Mga walang kuwentang tanong para sa akin. Tinatanong mo kung bat ganito ako manamit etc... Parang ang laki ng problema niya sa itsura ko. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong klaseng tao ka.. pero ayun.. After mga 1 hr, umuwi narin tayo.

Nang makauwi na ako, natulog nalang ako. Dahil pagod siguro sa kasasalita at kalalakad. Paggising ko, gabi na pala. Pagtingin ko sa pc ko, nagmessage ka pala sa akin. Bakit ganun... ang labo.. soooobrang daldal mo kapag kachat ko kita. Parang dun mo lang sinabi lahat ng naramdaman mo noong kasama kita siya. Tapos habang tumatagal, nagiging madalas na ang ating pagchat. Nagusap din tayo sa phone once. Ang ganda pala ng boses mo sa phone. Feel ko ibang tayo ang nakausap ko. So parang nagiba na ung tingin ko sa iyo dahil sa mga pangyayaring iyon.

Isang araw, lumapit ka sa akin at kinausap mo ako. May tinanong ka sa akin about something. Pero hindi ko na matandaan kung ano un. Pero nakita tayo ng friends ko. Kala nila may gusto ako sayo or the other way around. Ang labo noh. Parang un lang, ganun na agad ung iisipin nila. So siyempre sabi ko na wala un. May tinanong ka lang sa akin about sa isang bagay na hindi importante. So after nang pangyayaring iyon, medyo iniiwasan na kita lalo na kapag kasama ko friends ko. Baka asarin lang ako tapos madamay ka pa. So kungwari nalang hindi kita kilala.

After a few months, tinext niya ako. You told me na huwag akong maniwala sa mga friends mo kapag may sinabi sila sa akin about you. Naramdaman ko na sobrang laki ng problema mo. Pero buti inexplain mo sa akin lahat. You said that one of your friends teased you. Then you said something like.. "tama na Butch!". Instead of shouting your friend's name, you shouted mine. The more they teased you because of that. So wala nanaman akong masabi. Masnaweirdohan ako sa iyo. But in a way.. naawa rin ako sa iyo. Maybe because a lot of people loved to play with you. I don't really know.

As the months passed by.. we still texted each other and chatted. Nanood ulit tayo ng movie. I noticed that I got closer and closer to you. Tuwing may problema ka, lumalalapit ka sa akin. You always share everthing to me even though I don't ask about your problems. This made me know more about you. I couldn't believe that you were a very sensitive person. Para sa akin, wala sa itsura mo ang pagiging sensitive. You also make small problems into big ones. You are also often paranoid when somehting happens that I myself consider useless. I wanted to stop getting closer and closer to you but it seemed that I can't. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung ano yung nararamdaman ko. Ito na ba ang love? Ewan... Bakit ang weird ng love kung love talaga yun...

to be continued...

Stupid me :p hay nako :) love talaga tsk tsk

2006-05-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

My first love, i never felt this way before..... college a new atmosphere for me.... meeting new people with different personalities... i saw this girl in my class and i felt like love at first sight.. but i never did anything to get us closer.. like talking to her.... an opportunity came and we talked and got to know each other... courtesy of my friend from davao and from ayala heights... as time past by we got to know each other more and more... my classmates are teasing me why are we always together... they also asked me what i felt for her and i said the truth.. that i liked her......... one saturday morning, I joined her in her vehicle alone to have a ride back to school.... and i kept asking myself what should i say??... what should i say??... eventually i didnt have the guts to say it..... when i reached the school... i went to meet my friends in starbucks.. and they asked me what did i tell her??.... i said nothing just a plain conversation between two friends.... then my chubby friend who works in robinsons called her in her cellphone and kept saying stuffs like ... he loves you etc.......... then i said can i have the cellphone... i got it and talked to her outside alone... she asked me if i was just going along with what my friends saying and i said "No, what they are saying is true and its not because of them but because of what i feel, that's the way i feel"......"I want to be closer with you like being a best friend............." "etc......." after that conversation everything was cleared.... nothing changed we still got to know better and better.. we got along ..... etc...... i didnt make a move in dating her because i know she had a past experience in her former relationship... she said that she didnt want to have any relationship for the meantime... so i didnt do anything... i was just there for her as a friend..... one wednesday morning a competition was held that was hosted by our org.... i was suppose to be a marshall of one of the teams but instead i was just ordered to roam around and see if there is any problem in the competition... she was a marshall in one of the team................. as the day past by, i encountered here and she asked me something and my response was somehow angry ... i remember that i am really in a bad mood that day because of some problems in the family.... i kept thinking of those problems which make me sad somehow and lose my mood....parent problems :(....... she was shocked on the way i reacted and she went to my chubby friend to tell to him what i did and my chubby friend said to her that I was just in a bad mood.... etc........ i then afterwards tell her that i was sorry for the way i reacted..... and she said Ok....... i felt that she never accepted my sorry fully.... i think that she still brings something about the way i reacted....... huhuhuuhuhu.............. from that day on she was never the same again when i talk to her..... every day that past by she changed n changed and i never felt the way she talked to me like before.... that is what i felt...... i decided to just leave her alone.... its hard for me because i have feelings for her.... it will just be worse and worse if i dont stop..... and i did stop.... i didn't join her anymore starting the new semester and all the way up to finishing the sem....... i didnt talk to her anymore....... all in a sudden everything changed..... my classmates ask me are you still ok with her...... and i just said yeah were just okay..... etc..... time past by blah blah...... eventually her special day arrived.... we were all invited to come..... this and that happened like any ordinary special day for an 18 year old girl....... after wards me, my chubby friend, my friend from davao and my friend who is always online decided that we will go to katipunan to play computer and eat and other things..... eventually when we were finished playing we decided to eat breakfast since it was already 5 in the morning... we talked and talked.... and eventually came to the topic about me and her.... they were like my conscience saying this and that to me and my mind and heart didnt know what to do..... they would say "sayang, sayang talaga"... and mind keeps thinking on what to do.........ahhhhhhhhhhh........... then when its time to go home... i walked slowly thinking what would i do.... and i said to myself that i would speak to her about what happen.. i then find that she was online and i talked to her... i said sorry for what had happen before and our friendship has really changed..... she said that it was not a big deal to her anymore and nothing has changed to our friendship... i said to myself "wow".... then she disconnected...... i then just continued my life again normally with still some feelings in me..... as time past by..... blah blah blah............. i told my friend who is always online and my friend who lives in cotabato and some of my classmates to do something for me.... i told them to invite her to have lunch with us and i will say what i feel to her..... when lunch came... sharing of some of my classmates... and when it was my turn to share... i was nervous not because of what i will say but what will be her reaction..... i said to her that i really liked her and if given a chance to proved myself, i would do my best ............................... then I turned RED wahhh....... i waited for her response...... then after a short time... she told me and everyone her reply........... it was not the reaction i expected because i expected a y or n.............. after that happened i didnt do anything anymore up to know..... i think whats important is that i have said what i feel about her... that i like her from my heart.... right know i still have feelings for her but I set it aside inside my heart..... so maybe it would fade away or something..... but still its hard to let it fade.... i would be happy if i would be given the chance...... now im okay just being myself again, just the normal life like before hoping for something to happen.......... THE END................ Post COmments .........

My Confession...

2006-05-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

Right now... I'm so in love... deeply in love with this Man..

This song explains best how much i feel for Him... ;)

If ever you wondered if You touched my soul, yes You do.
Since I met you I'm not the same. 
You bring life to everything I do.
Just the way You say hello. With one touch I can't let go.
Never thought I'd fallen in love with You.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.

Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of You. You
captured something inside of me. 
You make all of my dreams come true. 
It's not enough that You love me for me.
 You reached inside and touched me internally. 
I love You best explains how I feel for You.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.


The magic in your eyes, true love I can't deny.
 When you hold me I just lose control.
I want You to know that
I'm never letting go. 
You mean so much to me,
I want the world to see it's because of you.

Because of You.
My life has changed. 
Thank You for the love
and the joy You bring. 
Because of You I feel no shame.
I'll tell the world it's because of You.

walang napopost edi eto na lng muna hahaha :P

2006-05-22T14:18:00.000+08:00

One In Me
Akafellas

(verse 1)
I just can't stop the pain
There you beside me it so far away
I'm holdin on to these lies
Believin that one day you'll be my bride

(prechorus 1)
It's like wishing on a star that I know will never be mine
I cry and crack whenever that star is there to shine
So now I tell my heart before I lose my mind
That I don't have you baby...

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and will forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms,
Hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.

(verse 2)
How I wish that you know (what I keep inside)
even just a bit of me that I can show,
cuz I'm dreammin' of you every night,
Hoping that someday you'll be by my side.

(prechorus 2)
Now its killing me, these fantasies bin blowing up my head,
and I just wanna wake up,
but sure I'll fall back there again,
So I might as well believe
that your the only one for me...

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and will forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.

(bridge)
I just can't get you out of my head,
I feel the hurt all over again,
Cuz I know you won't be mine,
But if we got this time, /-not sure tong line/
Your the only one for me...

(*may kulang isang line)

Will you ever see the love in me
ahhh~~~

(chorus)
Hey I'm here for you,
And you just don't seem to care,
But I'm here to stay and forever pray that,
I'll be in your arms,
Hoping that some day you'll see me find the one in me.
(2x)

Find the one in me...(3x)

YEAH!

2006-05-16T18:30:00.000+08:00

BADTRIP NA BADTRIP AKO!
Bakit ba ganito! tuwing magkasama tayo..
hindi mo ako inaaway...
pero tuwing hindi tayo magkasama...
parating may masamang nangyayari...
Bakit ba ganoon?
Hindi talaga ako para sayo!
GRABE TALAGA!
Nasayang lang talaga oras ko sa 'yo!
wahh! pero ngayon.... wala na! masaya na ako sa buhay ko! wahahahaha!
sa ngayon.. FREE ako!
halos wala na akong mga problema!
kontento na talaga ako sa buhay ko! hahahahahahaha! yeah!
(wala lang akong malagay. wala kasing nagpopost. hahahaha)

Kilig Level 1

2006-05-04T18:51:00.000+08:00

hahaha

Butch is here again.. for another post..

i must admit that i've been somewhat lonely this past few days but there are reasons why i'm not sucked up by the negative feeling of being lonely anymore... oh yeah...

Here we go...

My crushes (take note.. not crush but crushES hahaha) when i was in high school just made some sort of "paramdam" to me.. (giggles.. giggles... hahaha..naalala ko tuloy si LOBUTCH.. i got the term "giggle" from him hahaha)

The first one made me smile(well actually... giggle hahahaha) by sending a message through friendster... the message's subject is "BBBUUUTTTCCCCHHHHHH" which is actually my surname... the content of the message?.. haha.. its good enough to make me giggle.. hahaha

The second one made me "giggle" when i was on my way home from the church... hahaha.. I was walking a little faster than the usual and suddenly out of nowhere I heard a girl shouting my name .. she says "BBBUUUUTTTTCCCCHH!".. Then it made me stop and step back then poof! I saw her, my other crush when i was in HS.. I waved and said hi to her.. i didn't have the courage to talk to her because i can't hide my giggling anymore..hahaha and besides she was with her sister or cousins i guess. so after that few seconds of saying hi and staring at her, i went home walking at a faster rate, trying to control my "giggling" and never-ending smile... woohooo..what a "day brightener".. hahaha..

with these.. i start to ask myself... is it a sign?haahaha is one of them the woman of my life? oh well.. i dont know.. maybe not.. but I trust God.. He knows the best..;)

My Broken Heart

2006-05-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

*Based on a real story

I don't know when this happened. It may have beenin in another life time or in a dream. Well here's my story. It was a new school year in a different school. I transferred into another school because of some stuff. When I first came there, I was confident and friendly but inside, I was freakin' nervous. I wasn't the only new student. There was also a new girl in the class. *For private reasons I'll change her name to MEI. She had long dark brown hair and was kinda cute. She was very quiet at times and always thought about something. We got to know each other and became friends.

When the second semester came, we became more close. Online, we would tell all our secrets to each other like mga dating BF/GF, mga ginagawa namin ngayon sa bahay. We laugh at the things we talk about. Walang secret secret sa amin, labasan lahat hahaha. Soon I came to realize that I was falling for her. One night, we had a chat online. She told me that may lalaki nanliligaw sa kanya and that parang gusto na niya ung guy. Suddenly my heart became kind of heavy. Like something felt painful ('di ko pa inaccept na I liked her) so I just said what any other friend would say. I supported her. "Sige, hope siya na ung guy para sayo hehehe" something like that. I wanted to tell her na, but I was scared telling her because she liked someone else. So I ask my friends na kung aminin ko na sa kanya. Sabi ng mga iba, sige! go for it! While you mga iba nagsabi wag na lang kasi she's not Christian etc etc... Hindi magandang relationship. So I followed them. I continued on to be a friend that was hiding something.

As summer came I didn't see her much. I went abroad and was away for a month. When I came back, I decided to tell her na the truth, tell her how much she means the world to me. I went online and waited for her. Everyday I waited for her but she never came online. But as the third day passed, she went online, We chatted and chated saying how much we missed each other and all that. But the joy of seeing each other online wouldn't last because she had some bad news. She told me that she was changing to another school next school year. My heart felt a bit pain, but it was ok. I told her, "ok lang yan, it's for your sake naman." Then she told me something else...

Sila na daw ng guy na nagliligaw sa kanya. I was shocked, my heart was in total pain. It felt like a thousand spears were stabbed at my heart. I told her ,, "great and congratulations". After that I decided to go and disconnect. I lied on bed, and thought what just happened. Suddenly tears came out of my eyes. I couldn't stop them from running down my face. I was in deep depression. My hope was burned and I was left in total darkness It was too late for me to tell her I loved her. Now I'm here, healing my wounds and regretting that I couldn't tell her...regretting all the time that I've wasted...

To all who are reading this, I hope that some of you will not make the same mistake as I did. Don't be scared about telling your true feelings to the person your falling in love with. You'll never know that she might be the one for you...

IS THIS LOVE?

2006-05-02T19:25:00.000+08:00

It was my first day in school. Marami akong nakitang new faces. So far, masaya naman dahil I was able to meet new friends. Then I saw this mysterious girl. Wala na akong maisip na salita that can describe her pero "mysterious" lang talaga ang unang impression ko sa kanya. Pinagmamasdan ko ang bawat kilos niya whenever wala akong magawa. Then I realized, naiinlove na pala ako sa kanya! Ang weird talaga ng naramdaman ko whenever I see her in school. My heart was beating so fast that I coudn't breathe everytime I see her. I haven't felt this way before. Para bang i'm in heaven whenever she is close to me. But the thing is.... hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ako inlove sa kanya. Ang weird talaga! I can't think of a valid reason why patay na patay ako sa kanya. WHY?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?! Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit pero ang weird talaga kasi i love her pero wala namang reason. Can this really be?? WHY OH WHY! Dahil ba sobrang ganda niya? Hindi eh! Dahil ba matangkad siya? Hindi rin! Ang labo ko pare! I really don't know if i will tell her what I feel or kung itatago ko nalang ito sa self ko. Ang labo kasi! What if she asks why i love her? Tapos wala akong masasagot! Ang pangit talaga right? My question is... Is this really LOVE? What is LOVE? How do I really know when i'm in love? HOW? As of today... i'm still thinking of what will I do. I really have no idea kung ano yung nangyayari sa akin! So please.. I really need a sign! I don't know if I will tell her na or not. There are times when I wished na sana hindi ko nalang siya nakita. Sana never ko siya nakilala...